FUN IN THE MECHANICAL ROOM By: DiLiTHiUM I know, just about everyone does a 'fun at school' bit these days, but what about those areas of the school where you don't normally think that there would be a lot of fun things to do? How about my personal favourite, the Mechanical Room. Just about every school has 'em. They usually contain the school's boilers, ventilation & air return systems, and sometimes the main electrical & plumbing hookups. Instant fun in the right hands. I am with the yearbook & AV crew at school, so I travel through the Mechanical room quite a bit on my way to the roof for a few photos of the schools. But for some other geek who doesn't kiss up to everyone at the school by joining every club in sight (Useful to use in court if you are ever caught, because they seem to like nice, little well rounded students, like me.), access to the Mechanical room may be difficult. Take heed, since your school may not have a Mechanical room. It may have door labelled "Fanroom" or "Boiler Room" or "Environmental Control" or some shit like that. They are all the same, except they will be tougher to get access to, since you'll have more than one room to get into. First, lets familiarize ourselves with the general layout of the room. TURNER FENTON SECONDARY SCHOOL MECHANICAL ROOM LAYOUT (North Hall) Legend: ÚÄÄÄÄ======ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÂÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ³ 19 | | 21 1: Boiler ³ | 20 | Cntrl. ³ |ÄÄÄÄ¿ÄÄÄij Panel ³ ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ======ÄÄÄ´ÄÄÄ ³ÄÄÄijÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ 2: Boiler ³ ³ ³ÄÄÄ ³ÄÄÄij³ ³ Cntrl. ³ ³ 17 ³ÄÄÄ ³ÄÄÄij³ ³ 3: Elec. Ã-¿ ÃÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÁÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ ÚÄÄÄÄ´ Control ³ ³ ³ ! ! 4: Chiller ³ ³® 18 ³ FANROOM DANGER! 12 ¯ ! !® 13 5: Air Ext.ÃÄÙ ³ 16 ! ! Hood ³ | DANGER! ! ! 6: Cooling ³ | ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ 11 ! Tower ³ ÃÄÂÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÁ====ÄÂÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ´ 7: Mech. ³ ÀÄÙ ²²²²²²²27²²²²²²²²²²² | ³ 14 Room ³ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ²²²²²²²²²²²²²²²²²²²² | 10 ³ Foyer ³³ ³ °22°° °23°° °24°° °25°° °26°° 28³³ ³ 8: Boiler ³³ ³ °°°°° °°°°° °°°°° °°°°° °°°°° ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÂÄÄÄÄÄ´ Water ³³ 4 ³ | ³ Pumps ³³ ³ BOILER ROOM | 9 ³ 9: Mech. ³³ ³ ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ÃÄÄÄÄÄÁÄÄÄ¿ Stairwell ³ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ ³ 1 ³ 7 ÚÙÚ¿Ú³ ³ (PE Wing) ³ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ³ ³ Ú 8 À³ ³ 10: Water ³ÀÄÄÄ¿ ³ ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ | ³ Compressor ³ÚÄÄ¿³ 2 ³ 15 ¯| 14 ³ 11: Fresh ³³3 ³³ ³ ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ³ ³ Air Hallway³ÀÄÄÙÀÄÄÄÄÙ ³ Facing Playing Fields ³ ³ ³ 12: Fresh ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÁÄÄ-----------------------ÄÄÄÄÁÄÄÄÄÄÄÂÄÄÄÄÄÙ ³ Air Filters 14 ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÁÄ¿ 14 ³ 13: Air Hood (Facing Steeles Ave) 14 ³ 6 ³ ³ 14: Outside ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ ³ 15: Roof Access Door (Always Locked from outside) ³ 16: Fanroom. Turn off AC Pwr to fans before entering! ³ 17: Compressor/generator room ³ 18: Desk 19: Door to Mechanical Room Book Storage hallway (Upstairs in English Wing) 20: Projector Room Stairwell (By phones) 21: Radio Station Booth 22: Aux. Boiler 9 23: Boilers 7 & 8 24: Boilers 5 & 6 25: Boilers 3 & 4 26: Boilers 1 & 2 27: Back up fuel tank 28: Gaugefield First, there is the Boiler heating system. This is the main heating system of the school. In this setup, water is sent through chillers and cooling towers to cool the water down. Then the water is sent through the boilers themselves to heat up. The water is compressed in an array of compressing units so it doesn't turn to steam. The hot water is sent to radiators throughout the school and to the blowers in the Fanroom to heat the air. The water is then returned to the boilers to be re-heated. Most boilers today use natural gas to heat the water, so there should be a cutoff somewhere. The boilers are about the only thing that you can have fun with here. The chillers are too unaccessible and complicated to foul up, and you would have to go outside to dick around with the cooling tower. The fanrooms distribute fresh air around the school, and also house the air conditioning units and filters. The blowers themselves are REALLY easy to sabotage. The ducts have hatches on them that allow easy access with cherry bombs, stink bombs, old socks, piss, just about anything. That just about constitutes the basic school mechanical room. Now for ways of obtaining access to the sacred room: 1. Keys. These are the most obvious & easy. Just become buddies with the school's Custodians (Toiletmonkies) & grab the key ring off of their belt or desk when they aren't looking. If you are really on the ball swipe the Master key. It'll open any door in the school. It is usually the one with the large grip or something like that. If you aren't lucky enough to get the master take the whole ring & make some copies. (There are tons of Underground key grinders around, but the extra long key slugs may be a problem in obtaining). For obvious reasons, NEVER EVER EVER KEEP THE KEYS! Its easier to take them for a night and then slip them back on his desk the next day. The toiletmonkeys are usually too drunk to notice that they are gone anyhow. Just slip them under his desk. Chances are he will not report them missing because he might be held responsible (Or the victim of his own stupidity..). Remember, all Toiletmonkies think alike. They must brainwash them at plunging school or something. Anyhow, back on topic, try every key until you get the one that open the door to the Mechanical Room. (Watch out! The doors are usually near the office or the Custodial wing. If they see you with a shitload of keys trying to break into the Mechanical Room, Vias con Dias!). After you find the key, copy it and any other key you might find useful (The AV room is good. That's where the sound equipment, TVs & VCRs are stored, but that's a different matter.) The best time to gain access is either with the hallway full or in the evening. Use some concert or assembly going on as an excuse to be at the school. This is also a good time to be up there, since the Toiletmonkies are usually in there during the day, fixing the damage caused by another of my readers or smoking a joint or whatever they do. In the evening they are usually reading a copy of Whips Weekly or Playboy in the office, so you should have no trouble getting up there... 2. The roof door. A little harder but just as productive. Most schools have doors that allow access to the roof. Where do the doors lead to? You guessed it. Its usually the Mechanical Room. Just pick the lock (Or use your Master Key) and you are in. If it is night that you decide to go in, you may run into a problem in the way of motion/infrared detectors. When I was up there last, I attempted to make a map of the Mechanical room & where all of the heat sensors are located (There wern't any, surprise surprise.). Its just plain dumb to put heat/infrared sensors in a room full of boilers. (News flash... Boilers boil water. That requires lots of heat). It would create all sorts of ghost images with all of that heat radiating everywhere. But they usually have SOME sort of security in there, so scratch going in at night, unless you can disconnect the pickup (Guess what! The Security system is SOMETIMES stored in the Mechanical Room! What luck!). My school is REALLY poorly designed. The door from the roof doesn't have any sensors on it... Duh! Maybe they were removed by some other enterprising soul such as myself (grin..). Like I said, the best time to go in is during the day or evening during some event. But I would suggest this as a last resort. 3. Just ask! Yep.. If you know the Building Supervisor (Head honcho of the Toiletmonkies) well enough (A few days of casual conversation should do it), just ask him to let you up the roof to take pictures or test air quality or whatever. (Its a good idea to play the part, so bring a camera or a notebook with you, just to make it look genuine). Just about all of my sources at 6 schools in the Brampton/Mississauga say that they will let you with NO supervision. This is good, because you can stall (Bring your lunch or a pack of cigs.. This is also a good time to stock up on your Tennis Ball collection, you know. For those grenades & shit.) We will go into fun on the roof a little later on. Okay, its time to get busy.... PART 1 - PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE This is the easiest way to freak out the Toiletmonkies without doing any or much harm. First, whip out your trusty magic marker, super glue, suction cup & wrench. Some of the older rooms have an entire wall filled with gauges showing stuff like boiler temperature, urinal water pressure, school humidity, etc. First, pick a gauge that shows something critical to school safety. Slap the suction cup onto the glass cover. Then, using the wrench, remove the metal bushing around the glass. (If you bend the soft metal, don't worry about it. Just don't misshape it TOO much. You have to put it back on later.) After you remove it, break off the needle & place it anywhere that looks good. For example, place urinal water pressure at 3 000 000 pounds (It won't really be that, but the next Toiletmonkey who looks at it will think so!) Then glue the needle back on. Replace the cover & bushing with glue. Voila! Instant panic & chaos as they turn off the water & rip the plumbing apart looking for the problem. Or, if you feel crafty, just break off the needle & draw in about 5 or 6 of them right on the face. THAT'LL confuse the quaaludes out of them! Unfortunately, some of the more modern Mechanical rooms use foolproof digital readouts. There isn't much you can do with those. Some use computers, though. And THAT'S always fun. Just reach behind & switch off the mainframe. Or if you can get to the Operating System (DOS?), you can load up a few viruses. This is unlikely, but fun to think about! They wonder why the school is so cold, investigate, and find all of the letters in the boiler control program sitting at the bottom of the screen! Another way to have fun at their expense is to look for small water pumps that help move the water through the boilers. They are usually small little $60 Canadian Tire motors with belts powering the pump. Either take the belt off of the pulley or put a knife beside the belt, just enough so it is rubbing against it. After a while, long after you are gone & out of blame's reach, the belt will wear down & snap, causing a few of the boilers to back up & burst some pipes. The whole school will be up to its ass in water! They might even have to cancel classes! Cool! Heh heh heh (Damn Beavis & Butthead) heh heh.. Or just cut off the main natural gas feed. This is easy to find, since its the big motherfucker pipe with the words "NATURAL GAS -->" written on it (Duh....). The one at my school is in the stairwell that leads into the mechanical room foyer. It should have a big cutoff valve somewhere. Just throw the valve & voila. The flames are gone. If you can't find the valve just play around with the boiler control panel (Located near the boilers themselves). Unfortunately, some systems (Like mine) have backup tanks just in case gas is cut off. Fool around a bit. That's the only way you are going to be able to have any fun. PART 2 - INTER-SCHOOL MISCHIEF Enough with the poor boilers for now, lets concentrate on the Fanrooms. They are usually adjacent to the Boiler room (Since Mechanical rooms house Boilers & the blowers). You can have ALL sorts of fun in there! If you play your cards right the whole school could pay for your joy! First, try to find a maintenance hatch on the mail blower assembly (Usually the large metal box with all of the ducts & conduits running into it. Its the one with the main fans & filters in it). BEWARE! If you open the wrong hatch you will be sucked inside & that will be the end of you. (But little pieces of you will be sprayed throughout the school, so your death won't be meaningless!). To be safe, try to find where the filter bay is. If you find it, take out the filter (Somehow.. All MBA's are different) and toss in a few vials of Stinkjuice or rotten eggs. The main filter downwind of the other filters should block the glass (or shell), but the smell will be spread by the blowers and transmitted throughout the school via the air ducts. Instant fun, since the school will be stinked out & as blowers are shut down for days while they are scrubbed & cleaned. In some older schools where there is one main blower, they might have to cancel school due to the poor air quality (There is some legal limit to how much of what can be in the air. And without the fans going there will be too much Carbon Dioxide & the health board will go fucking nuts (Since stuff like this can lead to lawsuits against the school). But by that time you will be down the stairs & outta there, with about ten guys giving you a good alibi. And if you are caught just say that you were on the roof at the time & that it was the Custodian's fault that the door downstairs didn't lock properly. They won't be able to dispute it because ALL vice principals know that the Toiletmonkies don't do shit extra if they aren't getting paid for it. Another way to have fun is to find the water mains. This is the hardest & most difficult to pull off, since if someone walks in on you, you don't have enough time to put things back to the way they were. First, you have to find the freshwater mains. Don't worry. They should be there somewhere. Found it? Good. Now, some of them have small openings for monitoring such things as water quality, additions of pipe, SLT. Just find them. They are usually little branches that stick out from the main pipe. (God knows if I can find them on the pipes at my school. But 2 other sources report them, so your school might or might not have them. (If you school has a "Plumbing" or "Water" room, forget it.). Found it yet? Okay.. Now take out your handy screw/nut driver and remove the screws & plate (Or whatever..). Now just pop anything from M-80s with long fuses to coloured dye. Or even put in some strong tabasco or Milk of Magnesia (Laxative). If you feel REALLY destructive you can just take a fire axe to the pipe, and watch it fly! Aim it at the main electrical panel.. Sparks! PART 3 - DESTRUCTION!! This the my personal favourite.. Real, good old fashioned chaos! This following section may lead to the total destruction of your school, so take heed... First of all, most boilers in schools run on natural gas. The ones at my school have the burners under the boiler itself. The ones where you can see the flame if you crouch down. Now get up from the floor and look for the gas pipe described earlier. Grab the lever (or twist-tap) and pull (Turn) as hard as you can until you hear the gas hiss real loud. Keep pulling until the gas stops. You should hear the flames under the boilers snuff out. Then turn the gas back on & run like hell! Soon after, with the aid of the blowers (If any), the gas should spread throughout the entire school. And when someone does something, like light a match or hit a lightswitch, BOOOOOMMM!! Scratch one High School. Like I said, DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS! THIS IS FOR "INFORMATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY"!!!. So if I hear on CityPulse that some school went up in a big fucking ball of flame, I will be VERY pissed! Besides, this is rather untested (I have no desire to incinerate my school (yet..)), and, as I mentioned before, some systems have backup tanks. Another way to wreak havoc on the boilers is to throw a few handfuls of cherry bombs or M-80s into the fires. It won't destroy the school but you can say goodbye to the boiler. Just run the hell out the there otherwise you will either be sprayed with hot water or pieces of metal (Just like shrapnel!) PART 4 - MISCELLANEOUS MISCHIEF After enough fun in the Mechanical Room, why not step out into the fresh air for a few seconds. Feel better? Good. Ah.. What do you see? Those big smokestacks! Is there anything you can do to them? Of course, stupid! These stacks are the boiler's heat chiminies. They are usually too tall to throw stuff into (They have little caps on the top as well..) but there is more than one way to kill a boiler. See the guy wires that support the tall stacks? Just give them a little snippety snip and wait until the next storm. With nothing to support them, they will be ripped right out of the roof, since they don't have ample support to stay up. After that, the rain water can get into the boiler, which will REALLY screw things up. Another way to have fun is to bring a bedsheet with your favourite saying on it (The cruder the better..). Then unfurl it to the world! Make sure that it is secure. It might blow away on you without notice. A few bricks or a well-placed nail might be helpful. Put a few weights on the bottom of the sign, so it won't blow up. (A hint, try to make it face the road, so that passing motorists will catch a glimpse of your handiwork.) Viola! Freedom of speech at its finest! There isn't a better way to let the world know that you think of the police (Spraypaint is too easy) and to involve the school's reputation as well! Anyhow, that's it for me. I got one killer English ISU to work on. Keep F.I.T. & have fun.. PS.. F.I.T (Fuckin' Into Trouble)