_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ - - - THE PYRO-MANIAC'S GUIDE TO FAMILY ENTERTAINMENT - - Volume I - - - - By all good anarchist's best friend, - - The Great White - - - - Courtesy of Cal Songsinger - - - -_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _- Today boys and girls we will tell you all about having fun with a few simple items that you can buy easily or may even have in your home. Since most of you are simple-minded, uncoordinated morons, I will start you out slowly and simply (like you). Our first project is a sure fire way to be the life of the party. Real sure fire. This item is called a "Handy House Warmer." All you need are three items which can easily be obtained. The first item is a roll of electrical tape (starts easy). Second, a large can of Sterno, easily bought at any camping or hardware store. Third, an M-80 or other similar explosive plaything. Step one in the construction of our pyrotecnic wonder is to remove the top of the sterno and, using an ice pick or other sharp item, punch a hole in the top of the can. Step two is placing the M-80 into the sterno gel. Make sure it is well covered by the gel. Step three is to replace the cap, making sure to thread the M-80 fuse through the hole in the cap. After securing the lid tightly on the can, you can start the final phase to fun. The last step is simply to wind tape tightly around the entire can, making sure to cover it completely with at least three layers of tape but not more than six layers. Now, as you can tell, when you go to use our incendiary toy to cheaply and efficiently heat any home in your neighborhood, all you have to do is light the fuse and run. The other advantages of this are that Sterno sticks to almost anything and is very difficult to put out, needing to be completely smothered, and that Sterno is highly prone to reignition (very similar to napalm). This type of firecracker is handy in small areas such as inside cars, small rooms, phone booths, rectums, etc... Now, I am not advocating the use of this item for anything but your own personal fireworks displays and enjoyment, but where and what you call enjoyment I won't judge. Well, boys and girls, that's all for today. Hope you enjoyed our time together and remember my motto: DEATH IS JUST A STATE OF MIND. T. T. F. N. from G. W. (>View: pyro guide to entertainment 2 _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ - - - THE PYRO-MANIAC'S GUIDE TO FAMILY ENTERTAINMENT - - Volume II - - - - By all good anarchist's best friend, - - The Great White - - - - Courtesy of Cal Songsinger - - - - Sherwood Forest Dark Castle - - 300/1200/10 meg 300/1200/10 meg - - (815) 436-5610 (815) 729-0188 - -_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _- Today, boys and girls, it's time to learn the basics of recreational chemistry. The following recipies are the easiest and most common of ingredients of many earth-shaking items. Our first item on the menu was first discovered by the Chinese (those yellow buggers know how to party!) about...oh, too fuckin' many years ago to even care about anymore. BLACK POWDER was not a reason for riots in the 60's, but was probably used in a few. This compound is so very easy to make, that you morons might be able to make it without screwing up. The three ingredients needed are finely ground charcoal, sulpher, and potassium nitrate (salt peter). Mix one part sulpher, two parts charcoal, and three parts potassium nitrate and you have your finished product. A variation of the above compound which is more powerful and fun can be made by mixing liquid nitric or sulphuric acid into the powder 'till all the powder is wet and has the consistency of paste. Spread this paste thinly on paper, let is dry, then grind it into a fine powder. These two compounds will be used in many ways which will be discussed in future volumes. Our second item is commonly used in place of black powder, is less powerful, and is easier to make. To make GUN COTTON, simply soak regular cotton in sulpheric acid and let dry. This is probably the most under-rated explosive around because if not used correctly, it has only a limited effect. If used right, however, it can be devastating. This compound will also be called upon to be used in future volumes. Now boys and girls, because you've been so good (or bad), I am going to give you a bonus assignment today. This compound doesn't go bang, but can be much more fun to use. First, find an empty tuna can (the top must be cut off, forming a small container). Put one-half cup of sugar and one-half cup potassium nitrate in the can and place it on a stove burner at very low heat. Stir the ingredients until they are melted completely. While still in liquid form, place several matchheads or a quality fuse in the mixtrure. After it cools, light this and it makes for a terrific amount of smoke which is basically harmless. For a more fun version, mix one-half cup powdered chlorine bleach in right after removing the compound from the heat. Mix it well then add the matches or fuse. This, of course, will make a crude form of chlorine gas which will temporarily blind those exposed and make breathing painful with the side effects lasting sometimes a week or more. Remember kiddies, to wear your running shoes, because these two smokebombs burn and spread fast (3-6 seconds). These simple items were made especially for you, boys and girls, so use them for fun and gags whenever you get the chance. Remember my motto: HIT 'EM HIGH, HIT 'EM LOW, HIT 'EM WHERE IT JUST WON'T SHOW. Till next time... Great White