[Part 3]: How To Have Phun At Radio Shack ========================================= Black Death Proudly Presents A ///////// ** // // ** // // // ** // // ** //// // // ** // // ** // // ///////// ** ///////// ** // // // ** // // ** ////////// // ** // // ** // // // ** // // ** // // Phreakers/Hackers/Anarchists Production -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- "How to Have Phun at Radio Shack" -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Disclaimer: This file is for Entertainment Purposes only. Radio Shack is a fine Americain Establishment and should be treated with Honor and Respect. Neither the Author or his companions endorse violence, anarchy, or any related subjects. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Allright, so you're wandering through your local mall, and you're thinking, "Why the Hell am I here?" You're surrounded by Flat-Chested Pre-Teens with high-squeking voices and you're really starting to get annoyed. But Wait, Up Ahead in the Distance, you see a Shimering Light... Could be? By George, it is. RADIO SHACK The Possibilities are endless. An Entire Store, Filled with Idiots who haven't the slightest Idea what they're doing. Once I was shopping there for some Capacitors, POTs, etc.. and I asked the guy if I could substitute one part for another (I was attempting a Red Box), so the guy says, "Nobody here knows what this Shit is. We had a guy here a few years ago who did, But I fired him. Didn't like him.." This should give you a picture of the Mentality of the Basic Radio Shack employee. Anyways on with the story. These stores have lots of potentially phun products. Let's take a step-by-step look at some of the better ones. First lets look around for those Nifty Remote Control Cars they usually have sitting around. Found 'em? Great. Now if you're EXTREMELY lucky they'll have batteries in them. Most, however, will not. So you're going to have to supply the batteries yourself. Not Carrying them with you? Go buy em from Radio Shack. OK Now that you have you batteries put them in the car of your choice. Place the Car in a choice posistion in which you think it will startle them the most. (ie: on top of the boxes of other cars, &c). Now you have two choices, either do it yourself, or have someone else do it for you. I highly suggest the latter. So what you do is, turn the car on, hopefully, the engine doesn't make too much noise. Now you have to get someone to use the damn thing. A couple methods I find effective are A) Go up to the guy working at the counter and say, "Excuse me, but could you explain the little joystick in the middle of this thing to me?" He'll think you're pretty stupid, but hey, we're dealing with Radio Shack Employees here. Most Likely, his Explanation will involve moving the joystick, sending th car flying off the boxes. B) (Kinda week, But some people are really, really dumb) Place the controller by one of their computers. Put a sign (hand written or typed) saying "Try our NEW Wireless Joystick" Next to it. Some kid will eventually come along, and Boom.. There goes the car. But there are other things to do here too! Yes that's right! More! Go to the back (or wherever they have all their Electronic parts) and switchj around all the labels for the CAPs, POTs, Etc... This will take the average worker quite a while to get back in order.. Also, most Radio Shacks are kind Enough to provide us with ready to use computers. How Sweet. Most of them will have a nice text editor with them. You can do pretty much anything from here. If you want to be direct about it, just delete their hard disc. But I think we can have more fun with them than that. You can screw around with their config.sys a bit, add a bunch of weird shit in there and see what happens. Have phun with it. Then there's the autoexec.bat file. You can fuck around a bit in there, make it... :echo off :echo Fatal Error 1012 :prompt -Please Reboot- :echo on That wil keep the average worker wondering for a while. Yeah, like I ssaid, they aren't too smart. Now if you're Really Phortunate, you may find a Basic Compiler (Or Pascal, C, etc..) Lying around their disc somewhere. If you're familiar with the language you can type up a nice virus and put it in their autoexec file. What the hell, Bring your own virus to radio shack and stick it in there. I'm sure you get the general idea. Do whatever you want, it's not as if you're the one who's gonna have to pay for it. Just make sure you pick up one of their catolouges (which brings up another interesting radio shack quote... Me: Do you Have a Catolouge? Worker Guy: Yup, Sure do! Me: Well, You think maybe you can give it to me? Worker dude: Oh! OK yeah sure! ... Anyways pick up one so you can look up all the parts for your, uhh.. , science project! Yeah that's it! Gotta do a science project on, uhhh, Telecommunications in the 1990s. That's the ticket. Have Phun.