DrUg TeRminOLogY NumbEr TwO by Flaming Severed Head Aug 1, 1991 RuLE OnE: IF You SmOkE CrAck, Do NoT LiVe in A HoMe THat haS PoPCorn CeiLinGs. if You Do, You wiLL fiNd YoUrSeLF OfTEn SmokinG ChunKs Of THe CeiLinG FounD iN The CArpeT, bELiEVinG THEm To be ForGoTTen RockS, EvEn THoUgH You knoW ThERe Is No SuCh ThiNG As MisPlaCed CocAinE. RuLe TwO: WhIpPeTs, THe LovELY bALLoOnS Of LaugHinG GAs (AvaiLAbLe At AnY BaKeRY Or HEAd ShoP) Are A LovELy AccESsoRie To AnY HigH. But, AltHougH ThEsE sixTY-SeCOnD HigH DisPenSErs ArE A Fun NoveLty AT FirST, yoU'LL FinD RePeATed UsE To EnTicE SkuLL-SpLiTTinG HEaDaChES, ThaT Are A RESuLt Of RaPiD BrAin CeLL LoSS, DuE To ToxiC NitRoS OVErLoaD. RuLE ThRee: NEvER WaTch CaRtooNS, ClAYmATioN, Or PriMuS VidEoS iF YoU ToOk TwO HiTs Of WinDow PaiN AnD aRE PeAKiNG, AnD ThERe ArE REaL PoWEreD GARdEninG utenSiLs ReAdiLY AVaiLaBLe In The ImmEDiaTe SuRrOuNdiNGs. RuLe FouR: NeVeR, WheN SoBEr, TrY To COnVinCE a FirST TimE ShRooMer ThaT He HaS PreSeNtLY TrAnsForMEd iNto The ShaPe Of A RePtiLE, anD is MeLtIng. You WiLL FiND ThE ABSenCE Of THis TyPe Of PrAnK RELieVinG To BoTH PaRTiEs (As THe OnLY THinG WorST ThAn HAVinG A BAd TriP Is HavINg To be SobER ARouNd SomEoNE ThAT is). EnD Of LeSSon TwO.