As we come to the end of yet another year, it is time again to make those ever so important New Year's Resolutions. I have faithfully made such resolutions in the past, and have now come up with my New Year's Resolutions for 1992, all of which follow: 1989 1990 1991 1992 |------------------|------------------|------------------|------------------| |I will try to be |I will not |I will try for a |I will try to be | |a better husband |leave Marge. |reconciliation |a better husband | |to Marge. | |Marge. |to Wanda. | | | | | | | | | | | |I will stop |I will not get |I will not let |I will stop | |looking at other |involved with |Wanda pressure me |looking at other | |women. |Wanda. |into another |women. | | | |marriage. | | | | | | | | | | | | |I will not let |I will stick up |I will not let my |I will tell | |my boss push |for my rights |sadistic boss |Dr. Hodger and | |me around. |when my boss |drive me to the |the group about | | |bullies me. |point of suicide. |my boss. | | | | | | | | | | | |I will read at |I will read at |I will read |I will finish | |least 20 good |least 10 books |5 books a year. |Airport. | |books a year. |a year. | | | | | | | | | | | | | |I will not get |I will not get |I will not lose |I will not speak | |upset when Charlie|annoyed when |my temper when |to Charlie and | |and Sam make jokes|Charlie and Sam |Charlie and Sam |Sam. | |about my baldness.|kid me about |tell the guys I | | | |my toupee. |wear a girdle. | | | | | | | | | | | | |I will get my |I will watch my |I will follow my |I will try to | |weight down below |calories until I |diet religiously |develop a | |180 pounds. |get below 190. |until I get below |realistic attitude| | | |200 pounds. |about my weight. | | | | | | | | | | | |I will not take a |I will not touch |I will not become |I will not miss | |drink before 5pm. |the bottle before |a problem drinker.|any AA meetings. | | |noon. | | | | | | | | | | | | | |I will not spend |I will pay off |I will pay off |I will begin | |my money |my bank loan |my bank loans |making a strong | |frivously. |promptly. |promptly. |effort to be out | | | | |debt by 1995. | | | | | | | | | | | |I will see my |I will have my |I will have my |I will get rid of | |dentist this year.|cavities filled |root canal work |my denture breath | | |this year. |done this year. |this year. | | | | | | | | | | | |I will go to |I will go to |I will set aside |I will try to | |church every |church as often |time each day for |catch the late | |Sunday. |as possible. |prayer & devotion.|sermonette on TV. | | | | | | | | | | | |I will not be |I will stop |I will work to |I will accept the | |self-destructive. |wrecking my life. |escape the living |fact that some men| | | |hell I've created |are winners and | | | |for myself. |others are losers.| | | | | | | | | | | |I will work out at|I will play 18 |I will go to the |I will improve my | |the gym at least |holes of golf at |pitch-and-putt |game of bridge. | |twice a week. |least once a week.|whenever I can. | | | | | | | | | | | | |I will follow all |I will make a |I will try to bat |I will learn to | |of these |serious effot to |.500 with these |live with my | |resolutions |follow these |resolutions. |weaknesses. | |to the letter. |resolutions. | | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- -/Vuarnet International/- 617/527.oo91 24oo-16.8k HST/V32bis