c:\GiFsee Hugebutt.gif Bad Sector(s) on disk C:\ Sector(s) Not found (A)bort (R)etry (L)ook at your own butt. Datawaste Productions Is Proud to Present: ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛ°°°°°°±±±±±±²²²²²²ÛÛBAD SECTORÛÛ²²²²²²±±±±±±°°°°°°ÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ °°°°°°±±±±±²²²²ÛÛIN STEREO WHERE AVAILABLE!ÛÛ²²²²±±±±±°°°°°° ÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜ ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛISSUE II VOLUME I SERIES I ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ ßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßß A feeble attempt at humor slightly related to anything dealing with the online community. STAFF Editor in chief and Sect. Of Defense candidate: Vince Lortho Submitting Writers: No one this month! Solo act! Volume 0 MARCH 1994 Number 0B 1 Amazing Intro Screen 2 First Political Statement (sort of) 3 FBI To the Rescue! 4 Final Exam From Hell 5 Taglines 6 Top Ten List 7 Leftovers 8 TOP SECRET BAD SECTOR POLITICAL STATEMENT (actually I found this somewhere on Fido) Bill Clinton is my shepard, whom I do not want. He maketh many lies about green pastures; He leadeth me beside still factories. He restoreth my doubt about the demoncratic party. He leadeth me in the paths of socialism for his manesake. Yea, I will walk through the valley of the shadow of debt; And I will fear much evil for he is with me. His wife and her staff may insure me. He prepaest a tax hike for me. That he might giveth presents to mine enemies. He anointest my wages with inflation. My expenses runneth over. Surely poverty and hard times shall follow me All the days of his administration, And I will dwell in a rented HUD house forever. Crossed Links. The first issue is over. It was two weeks late for most people and had numerous spelling errors. Re-releasing it after running the spell checker didn't do much better. If this issue makes it on time it will be a miracle of galcian proportions. I will have this issue ready by the end of the first week of March and hopefully be on time by April. Enough of these rantings. I found this document on a local BBS. It was called FBI magazine or something like that. It had various articles by various FBI officials and law enforcement personell. I found some interesting statistics. I will comment with {Little French Brackets} when appropriate. THE COMPUTER HIGH-TECH INSTRUMENT OF CRIME By Michael G. Noblett Chief Document Analysis, Research, and Training Unit FBI Laboratory Washington, DC The use of computers as criminal instruments or as devices to collect information associated with criminal enterprises increases yearly. Criminals use computers to store data relating to drug deals, money laundering, embezzlement, mail fraud, extortion, and a myriad of other crimes. In addition to the simple storage of records, criminals also manipulate data, infiltrate computers of financial institutions, and illegally use telephone lines of unsuspecting businesses. Statistics suggest that the law enforcement community must act quickly and decisively to meet the challenge presented by the criminal use of computers. For example: . Over 4.7 million personal computers were sold in the United States in 1988, as compared with 386,500 in 1980 {4.7 million computers at let's say 2500$ a computer= 11,750,000,000$ OK.} . An estimated 60 percent of personal computers are now networked . $500 million is lost annually through illegal use of telephone access codes {Ok, I'll believe that} . $1 trillion is moved electronically each week, and ^^^^^^^^is this a typo? {1,000,000,000,000 a week 52 weeks a year. 52,000,000,000,000 a year the federal deficit is about 4.5 trillion now. If the FBI could catch 8% of this 1 Trillion a week crime and put it towards the deficit then the deficit would be eliminated in one year. 1 trillion is a lot of cash. it could buy 400,000,000 computers 2,500$ each 40,000,000 25,000$ cars. 4,000,000 250,000$ homes remember that these hackers usually like electronics and things they can sell. 4,000,000,000 250$ stereos This is just for one week! Yearly: 2,080,000,000 cars at 25000$ each. If these computer hackers would buy American cars instead of electronics we would destroy Japanese auto market in a week. OR This figure is completely bogus and marked up so this guys budget will pass and he won't be out of a job. I just wanted to post this to show how the government figures numbers. No wonder the deficit is 4.? trillion dollars. Joke: What is a gougleplex? Punch: the goal of the deficit.} . Only 11 percent of computer crime is reported. While the law enforcement community, in general, often thinks of computer crime as high-tech crime, a growing segment of the population looks at computers and the data they store as nothing more than electronic paper. They feel very comfortable keeping their records, whether legal or illegal, in this format. In order to address the legitimate need for access to computers and the information they contain, law enforcement must develop a structured approach to examine computer evidence. ^^^^^^^^{More money!!!!} The examination of this evidence can provide investigative and intelligence information, and at the same time, preserve the information for subsequent admission in court. {this document made me laugh out loud for many an hour) Thought your exams were tough! Read on. Final Examination INSTRUCTIONS: Read each question carefully. Answer all questions. Time limit is four hours. Begin immediately. HISTORY: Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the present day, concentrating especially but not exclusively, on its social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America, and Africa. Be brief, concise, and specific. MEDICINE: You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of Scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until your work has been inspected. You have 15 minutes. PUBLIC SPEAKING: 2,500 riot crazed aborigines are storming the classroom. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin or Greek. BIOLOGY: Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human development if this form of life had developed 500 million years earlier, with special attention to its probable effects on the English Parliamentary system. Prove your thesis. MUSIC: Write a piano concerto. Perform it with flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat. PSYCHOLOGY: Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations of each of the following; Alexander of Aphrodisias, Ramses II, Gregory of Nicea, Hammuraby. Support your evaluations with quotations from each man's work, making appropriate references. It is not necessary to translate. SOCIOLOGY: Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany the end of the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory. MANAGEMENT SCIENCE: Define management. Define science. How do they relate? Why? Create a generalized algorithm to optimize all management decisions. Assuming an 1130 CPU supporting 50 terminals, each terminal to activate your algorithm independently, design the communications interface and all necessary control programs. ENGINEERING: The disassembled parts of a high powered rifle have been placed in a box on your desk. You will also find an instruction manual, printed in Swahili. In ten minutes a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to the room. Take whatever action you feel is appropriate and be prepared to justify your decision. ECONOMICS: Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace the possible effects of your plan in the following areas; Cubism, the Donationist Controversy, and the Wave Theory of Light. Outline a method for preventing those effects, criticize this method from all points of view, and point out the deficiencies of your point of view, as demonstrated in your answer to the last question. POLITICAL SCIENCE: There's a red telephone on the desk beside you. Start World War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects, if any. EPISTEMOLOGY: Take a position for or against truth. Prove the validity of your position. PHYSICS: Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an evaluation of the impact of the development of mathematics on science. PHILOSOPHY: Sketch the development of human thought; estimate its significance. Compare with the development of any other kind of thought. GENERAL KNOWLEDGE: Describe in detail. Be objective and specific. EXTRA CREDIT: Define the universe. Give three examples. "I am Clinton of Borg. Hillary says resistance is futile!" I'm not a real UFO, but I play one one Fido. He's dead Jim..get off of him! I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead. I've found stranger things than that in a cereal box. :.::: ::..: ::.::. :..:: Tagline in Braille Call the Liberal Hot Line - 1-976-WEL-FARE ($10 per min) If your mind goes blank, remember to turn off the sound. 640k = 4480 in dog bytes. As easy as 3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841. Black holes were created when God divided by zero. Buy a 486-33 so you can reboot faster. I love my country but I fear my government. 9 out of 10 rotweilers prefer Jehovah's Witnesses. Hello, I am part number ³ºÞº³º³Û³ºÝ³ºÝ³³ Top 10 Signs You've Gone To a Bad Hypnotist - July 23, 1992 10. When you come to, he's wearing your clothes. 9. You now own 19 Juice Tigers. 8. Days after your appointment, strangers come up to you on the street saying how much they enjoyed you in that live-sex show. 7. Everywhere you look: giant, whistling squirrels. 6. He tells you your wallet is blocking the alpha rays - better let him hold it. 5. He says, "You're getting very... uh... slippery - no, that's not it." 4. Anytime someone says the word "hello" you find yourself naked in Syracuse. 3. Suddenly you remember him from shop class. 2. Instead of tapping into your subconscious, he just waits for you to doze off and then yells stuff at you. 1. You wake up married to Doug Henning. Our Official distribution sites: Places I can be reached: Internet: Anonymous FTP site: ftp.erinet.com /pub/badsectr/Bad_Sector :Bad Sector Mags /pub/badsectr/Patriot : Patriot Archive Email for letters and submissions: badsectr@erinet.com Anonymous submissions: an124909@anon.penet.fi -=United States=- --Ohio-- Scotts Place BBS (513)236-9771 v.32bis 19.2 Acct: Vince Lortho (513)237-9776 v.32bis 14.4 Note: Great BBS (513)236-9786 v.32bis 19.2 4 CD's + 1.3 gigs Sysop: Scott Brown Fido: 1:110/615 ------------------------------------------------------------------ Wolverines lair (513)422-9652 USR HST DS 16.8 Acct: Bad Sector Sysop: Peter Mengel Note: Renegade Fido: 1:110/525 alpha site. ------------------------------------------------------------------ CCS (513)424-2495 Boca 14.4 Acct: BAD SECTOR Sysop: Paul Sink Note: Only BBS where Fido: 1:110:??? I paid money to! ------------------------------------------------------------------ J&J's BBS (513)233-0917 (5 lines) Acct: Bad Sector Sysop: Joseph Caplinger & Joe Jr. Note: Great BBS Fido: <> First Distro site! 2.3 gigs Total ------------------------------------------------------------------ Personal Payphone (513)743-9324 Ask for Piss Boy If you give over $100.00 donations I will write a two page Add-on how much of a great person you are and give you a floppy disk Chock full o' Bad Sectors. If Your BBS wants to be a disttibution Site (I don't know why?) then Email me on these fine BBS's or Internet above or try to hunt down my Phone #. If you can get it I'll listen to ya. I only allow two BBS's in one area. I may allow one more Dayton BBS but only if they give me Leech status on their BBS. This magazine may be going onto the Internet. I not sure yet. Also I may have a couple of Groupies in Penn. and Belgium. I really don't expect this Mag to go this far. I have heard rumors that Aliens abducted someone while reading this Mag and they have decided to invade. I contacted Zeta Reticuli II and they told me that it was a hoax and relations with the Democratic party are still intact. This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. 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