ÚÄÄÄ¿ ÚÄÄÄ¿ ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ÚÙ À¿ ³ ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄ ³ ³ ÀÄ¿ ³ ÀÄÄÄÄ¿ ³ À¿ ÃÄÄÄÄ¿ ÀÄ¿ ³ ³ ³ ÀÄÄ À¿ ³ ³ ³ ÚÙ ³ ÚÄÙ ³ ÄÄ¿ ÚÄÄÙ ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ ³ ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ Damned Fucking Shit Edited by Access Denied Issue #17 Title: 50 Things To Do With Those Nasty Holiday Leftovers Date: 1/8/94 By: Blurr ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ 50 things to do with those nasty holiday leftovers.. by Blurr [ATOMiC] - Eat them.. - Sell them to a local High School for mystery-meat day.. - Patch cement.. - Put them in your 5¬ drive.. (What else do you need it for?!) - Attatch a FILE_ID.DIZ to them and upload for lots of creditz.. - Throw in some Forum source code and develop a new BBS software.. - Place them in the Ponderosa buffet bar (to improve taste).. - Attatch a stolen font and advertise for your board.. - Send them to SiN for speedy cracking.. - Jam them in your teacher's muffler.. - Give them to president Clinton so he will inhale them.. - Let them rot.. inhale the fumes.. and go on a shooting rampage.. - Compare the color scheme to that of a default PC-Board.. - Abuse them so they run away on their own.. - Put it in the back of Jeffrey Dahmer's fridge to accompany that eyeball they never scraped out.. - Feed them to blind people and say it's fine cuisine.. - Sell them to CBS for next year's prime time line-up.. - Sell them to FOX so they can base a new hit show on them.. - Attatch a wig and date them.. - Greet them in your next 200 line ANSi.. - Use them in your nifty macros.. - Submit them to DFS.. who knows.. they might just be in the next mag! - Freeze-dry them for the next earthquake.. - Put them in your food dehydrator and make some form of jerky.. - Give them a phone and let them be a Psychic Friend.. - Use them when you run out of Soylent Green.. - Give them to UCLA as a second place trophy - Give them to a police officer next time you get pulled over.. he may just let you off a bit easier!.. - Let them be your Co-Sysop.. - Let Michael Jackson baby-sit them.. - Give them to Michael Jackson's lawyer so he doesn't sue me for writing that last use for holiday leftovers.. - Use them as covers for your expansion slots when you lose them.. - Taunt them.. - Donate them to Goodwill.. - Use them as a lifesaving device.. - Form a /<-Rad group and distribute them around your area code.. - Use them as seat covers.. - Feed them to your pets and watch them as they grow extra appendages.. - Put them out of their misery.. - Eat them.. digest them.. shit them.. and then inspect them.. - Give them to your girlfriend because you forgot it was her birthday.. - Feed them to Oprah.. - Make an ashtray.. - Develop a revolutionary new compression system with them.. (remember .OWS?) - Send them to US Robotics for an upgrade to next year's leftovers.. - Throw them onto a dog track and watch them fight over it.. - Assassinate Barney (the dinosaur) with them.. - Replace controversial evidence in your next phreaking trial with them.. - Convert it to ANSi for your new logon screen.. - love it.. touch it.. call it George.. _____________________________________________________________________________ This file is for information purposes only.. it is not recommended that any of you actually KEEP your holiday leftovers.. to those i have offended, life sucks.. get a helmet.. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Compiled by: (( Blurr )) - [ATOMiC] Sysop - Blurred Vision Find DFS On These Fine Systems ========================================================= | Paradise Lost - +1.414.476.3181 | | Ti - (Private) | | Realms of Decadence - +1.216.671.0078,,t66 | | Plan 9 Information Archives - +1.716.881.FONE (3663) | | | | AE - Plan 9 Information Archives - Login: DFS | | FTP - etext.archive.umich.edu - pub/Zines/DFS | | | | To submit, call Paradise Lost and log on as DFS. The | | password is JINGLE JINGLE. | =========================================================