=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= hands ----- my hands are too soft. they used to be rough, calloused. they would get caught on the hay in the barn i kept a horse in. they would get pinched and dry from the ropes i tied on the boat my parents owned. they would get torn on the lawnmower i used every Saturday to cut the grass. they were strong from stocking shelves at the grocery store. my hands had character. they were used. you could point out the tender parts on the flesh and figure out how they got there. they weren't the pale smooth beacons of laziness they are today. i remember when they would be stained with ink and oils from the writing and painting i did. now they are keyboard pure, and it is obvious that they do nothing but type. don't get me wrong. computers are hard work. but sometimes i miss the tactile side of life, where hay is rough and paint brushes scratch on the canvas, instead of the cool clean existence i have today. i still write, but the handwriting is in a monospace font stored as bits, instead of messy writing on roughened lined paper. i still paint, but the medium is electrons and the tool is a tablet, the canvas is a software program. too clean, too surreal. i consider the work i do for f.u.c.k. and the web sites i design to be creative expressions. but i fear now that i lean too heavily on technology.. certainly the quality of the work i do now has improved. much better than the chicken scratches on paper i used to create with colored pencil and pen. it seems that with spell checkers and editors and photoshop, the realm of possibility is simultaneously more closed and more open. on one hand, i can combine elements in photoshop that would be difficult to replicate on paper or canvas... say, a photo, the earth, a texture, and a 3D object. and when i type at the keyboard, my hands do not tire, and i am more focused on the words than i am when i write on paper.. no worries about hand cramps, neatness. mistakes can be erased as if by magic, and no trace is left in vi when i make changes. yet, there is less of an ability to play with the shapes of words, say, in a poem, and there is less of a personal touch in a rendered photoshop creation. i enjoy the hours i spend at my machine creating random things. but something is missing, something i cannot quite put my finger on. perhaps the aura of technology makes the work seem less of an act of creativity and more of a demonstration of technical prowess. perhaps the lack of the tactile makes the work seem less tedious and too simple. i do not know what it is, but i am reluctant to return to the tactile and see that my talent is non-existent. i guess it is time to buy a scanner, so that the waters of creation seem less treacherous. demonika =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = Questions, Comments, Bitches, Ideas, Rants, Death Threats, Submissions = = Mail: jericho@dimensional.com (Mail is welcomed) = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = To receive new issues through mail, mail jericho@dimensional.com with = = "subscribe fuck". If you do not have FTP access and would like back = = issues, send a list of any missing issues and they will be mailed. = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = AnonFTP FTP.DIMENSIONAL.COM/users/jericho/FUCK = = FTP.SEKURITY.ORG/pub/zines/fucked.up.college.kids = = FTP.GIGA.OR.AT/pub/hackers/zines/FUCK = = FTP.ETEXT.ORG/pub/Zines/FUCK = = WWW http://www.dimensional.com/~jericho = = http://www.reps.net/~krypt/fuck.html = = http://www.interlog.com/~lisa/f.u.c.k. = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = (c) Copyright. All files copyright by the original author. = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=