F U C K E D U P C O L L E G E K I D S ------------------------------------------------------- - t h e p o e t r y v e n t u r e - ------------------------------------------------------- "I think we ought to read only the kind of books that wound and stab us . . . We need books that affect us like a disaster, that grieve us deeply, like the death of someone we loved more than ourselves, like being banished into forests far from everyone, like a suicide. A book must be the axe for the frozen sea inside us." - letter to Oskar Pollak, by Franz Kafka And so mirrors poetry.... ------------------------------------------------------- Kdqhdgp's Heart I have a locket, that I wear around my neck. It's silver and simple, hangs at just the right length. Seeing it at first sight, I thought of you, and I hope now you will think of me. Wear it, tuck it away, lock it beyond ... There is only one - you that I know besides myself only interested in knowing the truth ... the truth of my heart lies inside. I wear this locket, when I am missing you, or wish I was closer, or just when you're on my mind. My heart is as if a locked locket, that can only open to a certain person that can seep into it, and view it, being able to hold it, and not condem it. The locket I wear about my neck, will be given away - very soon. I will miss it, but I know that it should be yours. For it is only you that has somehow helped free this locked heart of mine. It must go to you. This locked locket will only be opened by you ... for it has my heart and I hope you will take care of it. Not being able to say exactly what all I sense or feel, I will just leave it at this ... a silver, simple heart-shaped locket. -Kamira A seagull cries The water laps against the cockles as the tide is ripped from the bay mist shrouds the pines that stand motionless on the bar. Surf crashes down from behind, as i lay in the open alone and saddened by the disrepair of lives forgotten lives lost in the silence, i hear their dreams as once they lived, their love, their friendships made and lost forever. true story v2.0 i need you, do you need me? i plant a kiss on your bare stomach, and follow it to the cleft of your breasts, with passion, again and again, you inspire me, to the point of insanity, you make me want you more and more, everyday, i'll make love to you until the sun implodes, kiss after kiss, day after day, over and over, until you tire of me, for i love you, and there's not a goddamn thing anyone can do to kill that love sugar... resolve [i feel the] guilt for my actions. did I not see her resolve? was I scared? or did I not match hers as I fled onward in life? [scared to give] contemplation yielded to [painful] decision. a forced [one second] attrition to please her. to puppet the rest of my life. snap judgement that now brings pain, like the rope to neck. [will next week] even knowing, will i let it happen? i must so dearly live for that pain. single voice of unheard merit, cry out in musical hell. why can't i explain that i live without her, because of my own shortcoming, not hers. with a 'no' falling off lips, i silently ask you to give me self again. i know i'm so wrong, i know my pain will grow. with that i lost resolve and here i'm damned. to solitude. mea culpa your mold is too small for the plaster that is me i crack at the seams of your wishes and hopes my inferior material will not curve gracefully to your vision of artistic perfection force it if you must and watch your masterpiece crumble into a haze of smoky dust, your grand vision reduced to the possibility of an almost being i laugh in your face controlling creators with the grimaces of children watching their sandcastles washed into the tide demonika THIS HAPPENS WHEN YOUR LOVER RETURNS To Her Again love ferries through your veins like seagulls fly across the bay they will return home from loneliness while love cycles back to your heart love deposits itself in fingers and toes but it cannot grasp other loves until it evolves into more than lust when whispers echo lingering touches love remains as sedentary flesh when it cannot be refreshes by a kiss because neglect traps this emotion behind negative regrets from your past and when remorse calls your numb love still seeks to escape injustice but no matter how many times you forget love keeps flowing toward your heart Indiana Poet April 29, 1998 Blood Cut so cleanly, Shaped like jewels, Maybe emeralds, maybe diamonds, Hitting the ground they explode, Smaller and smaller jewels, So very precious, so very red, So very necessary, Worth a fortune to the few, Taken for granted by the many, The great equilizer, Fending off death, Foretelling its arrival, Microscopically dissected, Broken apart, simulated and studied, Its importance has faded, its mystery unravelled, Its purpose known... Pain, despair, lose, love, loneliness, hopelessness, rejection, All of these and more, the unlearnt, The unknown, unfound reasons, Cut so cleanly, Shaped like jewels, Down they drip, down they fall, The light fades, things get darker, Breathe comes slower, calmer, Life, life, life, its a whisper, Slipping, slipping into serenity Everything becomes clearier, A mystery to many, Blood. Inner^Kry 16/Jul/98 ------------------------------------------------------- E D I T O R S: jericho@dim.com & demonika@dim.com ------------------------------------------------------- to receive new issues via e-mail, send mail to majordomo@sekurity.org with "subscribe poetry". if you do not have FTP access and would like back issues, send a list of missing issues and they will be sent. ------------------------------------------------------- A V A I L A B I L I T Y: AnonFTP: FTP.DIMENSIONAL.COM/users/jericho/FUCK/POETRY WWW: http://www.sekurity.org/~poetry ------------------------------------------------------- (c) Copyright. All poems copyright by original author. ------------------------------------------------------- F O U N D E D: October 30, 1997