Oh my GawD! ***** LARGE LOVELIES WITH A BIG HUNGER FOR XXX ***** More from GwaD! The GREENY world Domination Task Force, Incorporated Brings YOU 8 Brand New Text Files for Thanksgiving 1999! (Issues 68-75 of GwD: The American Dream with a Twist - of Lime) -=< NewGwDsnEWgWdSNewGwDsnEWgWdSNewGwDsnEWgWdSNewGwDsnEWgWdSNewGwDsnEWgWdS >=- gwd68.txt - FUCK ALL FORMS OF WIRELESS COMMUNICATION (by Otis and Priest), gwd69.txt - In Anticipation of Shoes (by slave daphne), gwd70.txt - The Dr00gist Manifesto (by Lobo Licious & STM), gwd71.txt - The Ride (by Franken Gibe), gwd72.txt - Satan, Sodomy, and the Governor's School (by Charles Zeps), gwd73.txt - Hanoi Jane (by Author(s) Unknown), gwd74.txt - Shakespeare Silliness, Part Deux (by Lobo & Yancey Slide), AND.... gwd75.txt - The Beat of a Different Drummer (by Priest). (These files [and all the others] are available at http://gwd.mit.edu/) -+- GREEN is GOOD. -+- ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** R E L E A S E N O T E S ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** WORD TO YOUR MOMS. This here is the Old School mutha-fuckin' GwD release from Hell, beatch. That's right... every one of these files was written back in da day. Most of dem wuz written around '92-'95. Ol' school files from GwD...all for you, you punk mutha-fucka. Fine, #68 wuz writ in the 9-8, foo', but dat shit still be a year old. And we don't know when #73 was writ, but it's about da 1970s, so it's ol' skool enough. 'Course ** #69 ** really ain't that old neither, but it's hard-effin'-core, so step your punk-ass to the curb. Why Old School shiznit? Why not, chach? ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** Summaries of New Issues ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** "FUCK ALL FORMS OF WIRELESS COMMUNICATION" = GwD68 = ----- -> NOSTALGIA FROM 1998 <- Otis tells his tale of drunken debauchery at a "gentleman's club." Priest fills in the details that are sketchy due to Otis' intoxication. A shocking look at the affects of alcohol, exotic dancing, and optometry. Read it now, or suffer the fate of Otis. Okay, fine, he's not dead or anything. But read it anyway, PIGGIE. ----- "In Anticipation of Shoes" = GwD69 = ----- -> NEW FOR 1999 <- As Domination is part of our name, this file was an obvious choice for #69. daphne, a real life sex slave, tells the true story of a trip she and her Mistress took to find a pair of shoes. WARNING: this article contains *vivid* sexual descrip -tions. Don't read it if you are easily offended. Also, if you have a heart condition, you probably should not read it. Be sure not to soil the keyboard. ----- "_The Dr00gist Manifesto_" = GwD70 = ----- -> NOSTALGIA FROM 1996 to 1999 <- The companion to GwD60 (_The Book of KeyLime_), GwD70, _The Dr00gist Manifesto_, details the quasi-political half of our dogma. Read it. Feel It. Love it. Live it. Rock Balls. You are either part of the Solution or you are part of the Problem. Either way, you are now working for Grene in Her ecoterroristic crusade to rid the world of the oppression of the Shopping Mall State. Five stars. ----- "The Ride" = GwD71 = ----- -> NOSTALGIA FROM 1993 <- Franken Gibe gives an almost journalistic look at part of one of his legendary cross- country road trips. Without a doubt one of the most literary issues of GwD to date. And you read that right. Franken Gibe, co-founder and High Priest of the cDc (not to mention SysGod of the / NOSTALGIA FROM 1993 <- Written in 1993, GwD has only recently acquired this shocking expose of a school in the home state of El Presidente, Billy Clinton. Charles Zeps provides a provocative look at a serious issue that was overlooked in the last two Presidential Camp- aigns. Satanism and sodomy have more to do with our Commander-n -Stuff than you might think. Very insightful, esp. in light of the impending 2000 election. ----- "Hanoi Jane" = GwD73 = ----- -> FACTS ABOUT A CELEBRITY <- A look at a woman being consid- ered for the honor of being named one of the "100 Greatest Women of the Century." Most definitely not a flattering piece about Jane Fonda, Queen of the Exercise Videos and wife of multi-millionaire mogul Ted Turner. Just what was she doing in North Vietnam during the war? Read this to find out. ----- "Shakespeare Silliness, Part Deux" = GwD74 = ----- -> NOSTALGIA FROM 1994 <- You thought it would never come but it has. The way-anticipated sequel to the epic "Shakespeare Silliness, Part the First" from 1994. On the surface, it seems to be little more than a ripoff of a major motion picture. But, I say thee, "Nay!" Five years and 50 issues later(there could not be a better time), the prophecy is realized, and the captives are released. Or maybe something less dramatic. Okay. Definitely less dramatic. ----- "The Beat of a Different Drummer" = GwD75 = ----- -> NOSTALGIA FROM 1992 <- That's right, it's the fabled "BETH.TXT" that your parents warned you about. BE AFRAID. All's fair in love and war, es- pecially in high school. This was originally slated to be re- leased as "GwD Adult" #1, but that ain't gonna happen, so we brought it to you anyway. Now Digitally Remastered by the author himself,it's badder than ever...an intimate look at high school band trips and revenge. The warning from #69 applies here also, along with the fact that this file is not for the faint of heart. Mega-seriously. Priest says that reading it "made my roommate physically ill." With a review like that, it's sure to be a hit. ----- -*- No Added Fillers. Just 100% Cheese for 100% Great Taste. -*- ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** What's going on in Grenedom? ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** -> HEADLINES <- This issue of GwDNews marks a momentous occasion: our primary publication has reached issue #75. We are Gods among men. -> OTHER NEWS <- A zip file of all the crap we've ever released has been added to the GwD Publications WebSite, to make it easier for you to download our drivel all at once and then enjoy it on your own time in the privacy of your own home. Be sure to keep the tissues handy, you dirty hooker. GwD was added to the "magazines" directory on "textfiles.com". Go to: http://www.textfiles.com/ and check our stuff out, if you think you're too good for the GwD Publications site (which you're not, btw). Or check it out anyway. It's a pretty cool site. GwDwarez are now (or soon will be) available on the GwDweb site at www.GREENY.org. If you don't remember GwDwarez, then you're quite lucky, as they suck major ass. They're fine examples of shitty programming. This is why the GwDwarez project was put on hiatus in 1997. The only reason they are going to be re-released now is for our groupies, the little girls in the cute school uniforms who just *HAVE TO* collect everything the GwD name has ever graced. Yup, that's right. We're hunting them down and making them available again just for YOU, cuz you my bestest most bitch. The group as a whole is pretty inactive right now, due to covert ops in which many dr00gs and dr00gettes are currently involved. The ops, of course, count as "news," but they're classified. For now. -> SUBMISSION INFORMATION <- If you have ANYTHING to submit to GwD (artwork, text, outlandish claims, etc.), DO NOT HESITATE to send it our way. "submit@GREENY.org" is there for you, baby. Work must be 100% original and it must be understood that once submitted, articles/artwork/photographs become the property of GwD, Inc. (unless they have been previously published elsewhere) and we can use them however we see fit, even if it's merely to make fun of them (and you). -> LETTERS TO THE EDITOR <- [All spelling/grammar errors are those of the author(s) and are not errors on the part of GwD, cuz, well, we're perfect. Yeah.] ----- From: "Lowlife3" To: Subject: understood Date: Thu, 7 May 1998 01:03:11 -0500 (Deep voice Over)But you have to relize that kiley and I will rule the world with the spice girls and my queen danielle fishel I will rule the west and Kiley will rule the east and it shall be grand(Deep voice ends) 1998 WORLD DOMINATION (c) Paid for by people who have power levels over 9000(tm) [Sure, we got this e-mail over a year ago. We've finally decided to give up trying to figure out what the hell it's talking about. Anyone who has a clue, let us know.] ----- From: 9621-music Date: Fri, 13 Aug 1999 20:33:29 -0700 To: GwD@GREENY.org Subject: fork. hey there god-like dr00gs in GwD, just thought you'd like to know that i found a fork in the latin CD section just now...please tell me i'm not the only one who finds this the slightest bit odd. word. -scumdog a.g. [Who the hell are you and what are you blathering about?] ----- From: jacksbak2@aol.com Date: Sun, 14 Mar 99 15:09:20 EST To: GwD@GREENY.org Subject: OMG HOT!!!! Reply-to: ccd@tampabay.rr.com -----------------------------------ADULTS ONLY!!!------------------------------- BY CLICKING ON THE LINKS BELOW YOU ARE CERTIFYING THAT YOU ARE OF LEGAL AGE TO VIEW AND/OR DOWNLOAD SEXUALLY EXPLICIT MATERIAL OF ALL TYPES. We've got a brand new web page with over 300,000 nasty xxx hardcore pictures and AVIs. You must check out [CLICK HERE] for the latest free amateur sex pictures. These pictures and video clips can't be seen anywhere else on the net. Cum and see us just [CLICK HERE] if you love cum shots, anal sex pictures, teen pictures, bondage and more. Love, XXX SUGAR-PIE... [Why thanks, Sugar Pie...ain't you just the sweetest thing?] ----- ~~~~~ -*- It's our way to say "Thank you," just for reading our crap. -*- CONTACT: The GREENY world Domination Task Force, Inc. http://www.GREENY.org/ Pubs - http://gwd.mit.edu/ - Pubs ftp://ftp.GREENY.org/gwd/ gwd@GREENY.org P.O. Box 16038 - Lubbock, Texas - 79490 - for moral, ethical, spiritual, and financial guidance - The GwD Task Force, Inc. - Bringing YOU All the Best in Absolute Crap Since 1993 by Lobo Licious - copyright (c) MCMXCIX GwD, Inc. ***** release date = 11-25-99 -*- GwD - "God, we're Dorks." - GwD -*- GwDN12