moo. ** **** oink. /** *///** /** /* */* ***** ***** ***** /****** /* * /* **///** ***** ***** ///// ///// /**///** /** /* /******* ///// ///// /** /** /* /* /**//// /** /** / **** //****** hogs of entropy // // //// ////// issue #111 >> "the rise of the mogels, part two" << by -> nybar --------------------------------------------------------------------------- >>-+ JURRASIC MOGEL 2: the lost mogels!!! +-<< ---------------------------------------------- Mogel Island, 8:00 ---------------------------------------------- a wealthy british family picnics on a small island they got to from their yacht. their daughter is being a bitch. their daughter: "WHAWHAWHA! I'M A BITCH!" The father: "FUCK!~@$# I"M A FUCKIN' ALCOHOLIC!@$ BEAT MY WIFE! YAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH@!#$@!#$!@$" The mother: "Honey... take this big carrot RUN LIKE HELL!!" their daughter takes the carrot and starts skipping merrily off. the father CRACKS a whiskey bottle over his wifes head, and.. mad at her for wasting whiskey, kicks her in the pelvic reigon Daughter: *skipping* "Tra-lalalalalala, tra-lalalalalala." the daughter looks down, and, about the size of a mid sized rock, see's a full grown mogel. Daughter: "Hey there cutey... how are you doin'?" Mogel sniffs at the air, when he catches the carrots scent he drools and, fearful of taking on such a big 8 year old girl by himself, growls for his companions! Mogel: "Growl!@" lots of little mogels jump out of nowhere! Daughter "MOMMEY DADDY, COME SEE THIS!! AIIiiIEEEEEEEE!#$_}#+#_%&" the mogels are swarming over her big carrot, devouring it to shreds!! Daughter: "Get off all of you little jewish bastards! GET OFF OF MY CARROT!$@!!" the mother and father arrive.. and seem pretty indifferent to their daughters carrot... then the father hits the wife and she SCREAMS ------------------------------ The mainland, somewhere in DE. ------------------------------ nybar walks along the street, and see's paranoid gay guy who wets himself and needs to get a job. Cerkit: "Dewd! I saw you on TV! Yer that Jurrasic mogel guy!" Nybar: "Wheet." Cerkit: "NO! I'VE LEARNED MY LESSON! BWAHHH!!!" a lightning bolt hits cerkit, and he catches fire and scapers around madly, then falls down an open manhole and dies. they throw his corpse out cause it's a *MAN* hole. nybar walks inside a building that says "Jurrasic mogel insitute, goes upstairs and see's jubjub, who has a white haired wig on, and is in a sick bed with an IV next to him. Nybar: "Umm... what's with the hair and the IV?" Jubjub: "Trying to be true to the original movie, I'll lose em." Nybar: "Elite, can I have em? I can sell em for like 500 times the retail to poor dewds." Jubjub: "I get 10 per." Nybar: "Deal!" *they shake hands* Jubjub: "Oh.. umm... go to mogel island." Nybar (his voice filled with emotion): "I...... nearly... lost.. a nice....salad... there.. BEFORRREEEEEE@!!$!@$!@$!@%&@!4" a single tear rolls down nybar's cheek. Jubjub: "Umm.. your stupid black kid is going to sneak there with you and I sent your cat already." Nybar: "Ummm.. black kid?" Jubjub: "Just trying to be true to the plot" Nybar: "Whatever" *THWIP* Nybar: "ohhh.." ------------------------------------------------- Some crazy cuban dudes boat.. umm... like.. 12:00 ------------------------------------------------- Nybar: "Where the fuck am I?!! I thought I was talking to jubjub!@$#@!$ I was going to reject his stupid offer and send froboy to get my cat.." Jubjub: "I anticipated that, so I drugged you and crated you to this boat." Nybar: "Now we're all going to this island full of 3 ft tall vegetarian predators... WHOOOO!!!" Jubjub: "OH NO! I thought we would want to eat healthy so I only packed SALAD!!!" Nybar: "This is exactly what happened the last time... we're DOOMED!" Cuban dude: "Diablo!! Diablo! el es un oso!" Nybar: "What'd he say?" froboy jumps onscreen and says: "I dunno... but I wouldn't wanna live there!!" Jubjub: "I believe he said this is the island of death where he and his cuban friend have lost several salad lunches to surly 4 ft tall vegetarin predators." Nybar: "Um.. I think he said "Devil, Devil, it is a bear." Jubjub: "Well.. I was close." -------------------------------- on the island.... umm.... today. -------------------------------- Nybar: "I wonder where my cat is!" nybar's Cat jumps onscreen and says: "So do I, but don't call me often!!!" Nybar: "Um.. hi. So whats the purpose of this expedetion?" Jubjub: "To Observe. It is imperative we preserve the natural balance! If even ONE MOGEL is killed it could be DISATEROUS!" nybar jubjub and froboy looks out at exactly 100 4 ft tall mogels. nybar throws a carrot among the ranks and they all start fighting over it, until only one is left. Jubjub THINKS: "I can't take him anywhere." Nybar: "well.. look over there! Cloning lab! lets just clone that one who's left and 100 times and we'll have 101!" Jubjub: "Good idea! While your doing that, we'll set up a salad lunch." Nybar: "OK!" nybar walks into the lab with the mogel. he clones it 100 times. Nybar: "Hmm... he would be happier if there were MORE mogels." he clones it 5000 times... and then, despite his best efforts.. they run outside. ----- froboy takes a bite of his salad. Froboy: "What's that pitter patter?" nybar runs out of the lab and yells: "RUNNNN WITHHH THE SALLLLLLAAAADDDDSSSS!!!" Jubjub: "YAHHHHHHHHH!@$!@)*@#%)*!@*!#@$" Jubjub and froboy pick up their salads and start running like hell. nybar quickly gets his and catches up to them.* Jubjub: "To the van!!" Nybar: "Umm.." they jump in the van and jubjub proceeds to drive it halfway off a cliff. Nybar: "The van is halfway off the cliff!" Froboy: "It could fall any second!!!" Jubjub: "And the mogel's are coming!!!!" TO... BE.... CONTINUED!! --------------------------------------------------------------------------- * (c) HoE publications. HoE #111 -- written by -> nybar -- 6/11/97 *