[--------------------------------------------------------------------------] ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #629 `888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8 888 888 888 888 888 "A Point of View" 888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8 888 888 888 888 888 " by Anilos 888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 5/9/99 o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8 [--------------------------------------------------------------------------] I was in my creative writing class minding my own business when the teacher had the AUDACITY to assign our class something, an assignment?! In school?!? a class assignment no less?! This horrible travesty really cut my psyche deep down but I readily obliged, I took an article and rewrote it in my own twisted way. I decided I might as well type it out for you nice, caring, sensitive people. The first half is the original article, the last half is my interpretation and rewritten article... HBO telecast of "Titanic" sets record (New York Daily News). The biggest movie of all time is now also the most watched telecast this season on HBO. Saturday night's telecast of "Titanic" averaged 8.6 million viewers, more than watched any other show on the pay-cabler this TV year. HBO is wired into 28.7 million homes. Until Saturday, the Trinidad- Whitaker championship fight was HBO's most watched program of '98-'99, averaging 7.1 million viewers. HBO's most watched big screen movie this season was "US Marshals" with 6.3 million viewers. The initial airing of the much heralded season finale of "The Sopranos" drew 5.2 million setsiders.`Within HBO homes, "Titanic" drew a whopping 32 percent of the 18-49 year old viewers. In the national universe of 99.4 million TV homes, that translates to 13 percent of the 18-49 crowd, tying NBC's "Pretender" as the most watched TV show of the night in the advertiser desired viewing group. Factored into last week's primtime rankings for the broadcast networks (which reach more than 3 times as many homes as HBO), "Titanic" would have finished No. 68. Now, it's my turn... HBO telecast of "Titanic" sets mass murder record. The biggest, most redundant, expensive and annoyingly predictable movie of all time is now the biggest, most redundant, expensive, annoyingly predictable AND only telecast this season on HBO to incite mass murder / suicide. Saturday night's telecast of "Titanic" averaged 7 million viewers, that think that Jack/Rose is real. 1 million suicides, caused by horrible acting and overwhelming despair, and .6 million acts of homicide, caused just by knowing that the movie is still prominent in everyone's mind. More than any other show on cable this TV year... aside from the Monica Lewinsky / Barbara Walters interview (dear god I just wanted to jump out of a building seeing that for only 10 seconds). HBO is plugged into the back of 28.7 million american's heads. Until Saturday the Trinidad-Whitaker championship farce was HBO's biggest waste of time for '98-'99 averaging 7.1 million disappointed viewers. HBO's most watched big screen, poorly written movie this season was "US Marshals" with 6.3 million viewers, half of which desperately waited in vain for Wesley Snipes to be killed, hopefully along with his acting career. The initial airing of the much heralded season finale of "The Sopranos" drew 5.3 million viewers, most of which were dillusional teenagers thinking the TV-MA rating it has guarenteed lots of nudity, while at the same time wondering "What he hell does the title have to do with the show anyway?" Within HBO homes "Titanic" drew a relatively lameass 32 percent of the 18-49 year old viewers. In the national universe of statistical nonsense it equates to some supposedly staggering figures, somehow. The statistics did show however that it became tied with the equally ridiculous show "Pretender" as the most watched show while wishing to be comatose, in the advertiser-desired viewing group. The advertisers, of course being medical companies and HMO's. Factored into last week's primtime rankings for the broadcast networks (AKA "Destroyers of intelligent though, breeders of superficiality"). "Titanic" would have finished no. 68 which essentially means this article was a waste of time because the damn movie didn't even make the top 50. [--------------------------------------------------------------------------] [ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #629 - WRITTEN BY: ANILOS - 5/9/99 ]