_____________________________________________________________________________ ---------------------------- I Bleed for This? ------------------------------ ------05.25.94-----------------------------------------------------#020------ Neil Squires by Jason Farnon Things are progressing wonderfully as far as the master plan goes. I have had a miserable childhood, and will in no time be able to enter this shithole society's work force where I will drudge until I die. I will commute for two hours each way every fucking day, so I can do monotonous work and watch someone scream at me. My only enjoyment will be coming home and watching the people I despised in high school make it on TV sitcoms, and thinking about how happy I am not to be working in the evenings. Then I will die, and nobody will care, except the insurance companies of course. But to get this pointless job (remember it is a privilege to be a slave in this country) I have to be able to wave a piece of paper in front of my future employers. It doesn't matter if I shot up dope for four years, the diploma from college is all that matters. Raping a college is so easy. Because nobody there wants to learn. Its all in the fucking name. Where you graduate it from. Any moron can get by, it isn't too difficult to sign up for underwater basket weaving and advanced physical education. So now its time to shell out twenty thousand dollars so I can do nothing for four years. This is what i've been looking forward to for years. I placed myself on every possible college mailing list, and kindled my fireplace as more and more college propaganda came in that would burn in the ashes. Plus its always nice to know you are destroying trees. One letter caught my attention and I would like to share it with you. This shows the kind of stupidity that actually gets into college. The letter was written by someone who was throwing a football while at the same time having an epileptic seizure; that's the only conclusion I can come to at least. The letter is from: Neil Squires Box 4127 UNCG Station Greensobro, NC 27413 I guess the college wanted to get the personal touch in by having the current students mail prospective students, but they sure fucked up here. It is on "The University of North Carolina: Greensboro" stationary. The letter follows. I'll try to keep all the misspellings and misplaced punctuation intact. A lot of the words were crossed out and changed because they were so badly maimed, so you don't get the full extent of the stupidity. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Jason, My name is Neil and I am a Student at The Residential College. What can I Tell you about This place. The Rooms are big, The people newt During a lecture its hard to find a seat. We sit at The picnic Table all day And are noisey when we play. yes, I know That I can'T spell. But, come to RC and you will Feel well. If This is too vauge Come visit and see for your self. - Neil Squires ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Christ. That's nice Neil, tell the good doctor what else you saw. This is so fucking sad. I bet you they place him in the special room and have him hand make wallets, like my grandfather does. The admissions committee at RC sure hit it big with me. I'd actually like to go, if there are more people like our buddy Neil. It would be quite enjoyable actually, laughing at them all. Remember this is the future of our country. Laugh boys and girls, because if you do not laugh, you are going to have to cry. ============================================================================== IBFT: We Break Your Wooden Leg Information, mailing list: bleed-request@unix.amherst.edu ftp.etext.org:/pub/Zines/IBFT The Eleventh Hour (617)696-3146 ==============================================================================