_____________________________________________________________________________ ---------------------------- I Bleed for This? ------------------------------ ------11.26.94-----------------------------------------------------#026------ Kiss my Black Ass Appreciated by Jason Farnon by Consolidated MC PhaT MuTha PhivE is iN da HoUse Y'ALL! DroPpiN JeWwlZ on yo MuLez! So Suck My DICK, Like WATSON and CRICK! I'm so def I get respect I do not signal When I make a left. I'm a phat rhymster Some call me spastic When I go to work I say "paper or plastic!" I've got da skills To stop oil spills I buy liquid form Coz I can't swallow pills. I'm an urban funkster Just call me Herman Munster I once got busy In a big phat dumpster. I whipped out my gat And shot me a cat Would you like some funky fresh Fries wit dat? I'm a lyrical clam Damn I'm the man I'm kickin' more flava Than a phat can o' spam. Words manifest I use Ultra Crest My mom knitted me a nice V-neck sweater vest. I'm hittin skinz I'm known in da biz I'm rippin' dem tags Offa mattresses. Smokin' dat herb at Case Western Reserve I'm puttin' suckas down Like a Bosnian Serb. I bought me a bag Damn it was schwag So I rolled it up In an oxy-pad. My rhyme's they be strong Like ding-a-ling-a-dong I put gin and juice In my six-foot bong. Sucka MCs I ain't no fool Now get on your knees And inspect my stool. Just call me chachee I ain't no nazi Brothaz smoke crack But I just play yahtzee. I'm a lyrical jew Like Winnie the Pooh I gots a disease So my balls they be blue. My rhymes they won't bore ya So light da menorah I'm kickin' mad flava Like Moses in da Torah. One, two In come da Jew My people talk in yiddish So g'zai g'zin to you! I'm da chosen MC I rhyme for a fee There's sure to be a doctor In my family tree. My people be weird My mom's got a beard When I step to you Your memory be cleared! Sucka MCs They be in terror When I clock they ass With a run-time error. I ride in a row-boat Just like a Haitian I'm a put "phat" In a constant declaration. I rhyme like a mime I'm always on time When I write my verse I use top-down design. I'm a wack MC My directory tree It ain't called C Coz I renamed it G. Get on your knees ho You better turn a trick My rhymes are double helix Like Watson and Crick I'm sittin' here rappin' Buddha's got it happenin' "Bang, bang, nigga" That's the sound o' one hand clappin'. I'm bustin' up mics I go on nature hikes Like Hester Prynn I sewed an A on my Nikes. I'm droppin's jems to yo mellon Self-improvement tapes I'm sellin' My mom jacked some fool So now she a fellon. I'm kickin' crazy verse I'm about to burst So listen up y'all And obey your thirst! I gots mo' flava Than a Buick Le Sabre Like Rober Frost I enjoy manual-labor. I'm out like a lout I stutter and shout I'm doin' bitches up With my twelve-inch trout. Sucka MCs Will put you in a slumber My rhymes are more def Than Avagadro's number. I'm gonna teach you a lesson With my Smith and Wesson I'm puttin niggaz down With a bowl o' fat-free dressing. There ain't no other Rapper who can stutter My rhymes are so slick: "I can't believe it's not butter." The derivative of my flava Is the integral of my rhyme X cubed plus a constant Is the slope of my nine. I gots da bomb Like Erich Fromm I cleaned da latreens Back in Viet-Nam. I dress like a pimp I walk with a limp I see the Browns for free in My low-rider blimp. ============================================================================== IBFT: If we hate you, you don't deserve to know why. Information: bleed@unix.amherst.edu ftp.etext.org:/pub/Zines/IBFT The Eleventh Hour (617)696-3146 ==============================================================================