ÚÂÄÂÄ¿  ÚÂÄÄ¿ ÂÂÄÄ¿  ÚÄÂÂÄ¿ ÚÂÄÄ¿ ³³ ³ ³ ³³ ÀÁÄ¿ ³ÃÄ ³³ ³³ ÀÁÄ¿ ÁÁ Á Á ÁÁ ÀÄÄÁÙ ÁÁ ÁÁ ÁÁ ÀÄÄÁ٠ ÚÂÄÄ¿ ÚÂÄÄ¿   ÂÂÄÄ¿ ³³ ÀÁÄ¿ ÀÁÄ¿ ³³ ³ ³ÃÄ ÁÁ ÀÄÄÁÙ ÀÄÄÁÙ ÀÁÄÄÙ ÁÁÄÄÙ ÚÂÄÄ¿ ÚÂÄÄ¿  Â ³³ ³ ³³ ³ ÀÄÄ´³ ÀÁÄÄÙ ÀÁÄÄÙ ÁÁ ÚÄÄ¿ ¿ ÄÂÂÄÄ¿ ÂÂÄÄ¿ ÚÂÄÄ¿ ¿ ÚÄÄ¿ ÚÄÄ¿ ÚÄÄ¿ ÄÄ´³ ³³ ³³ ³ ³ÃÄ ³³ ³³ ÀÄÄ´³ ÀÄÄ´³ ÚÂÄÁÙ ÀÄÄÁÙ ÄÁÁÄ ÄÁÁÄÄÙ ÁÁÄÄÙ ÀÁÄÄÙ o ÄÁÁÄ ÀÄÄÁÙ ÀÄÄÁÙ ÀÁÄÄÙ Blitzkrieg Bbs (502)/499-8933 NUP:SAMHAIN 3oo/12oo/24oo H/P/A/V Current Member Listing Drug Lord, Evil, Mad Dog, Predat0r, Sinister X, Spermie, The Duke ͸Õ͸Õ͸Õ͸Õ͸Õ͸Õ͸Õ͸Õ͸Õ͸Õ͸Õ͸Õ͸Õ͸Õ͸Õ͸Õ͸Õ͸Õ͸Õ͸Õ͸Õ͸Õ͸Õ͸Õ͸Õ͸ÕÍ ³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³³ Ô;Ô;Ô;Ô;Ô;Ô;Ô;Ô;Ô;Ô;Ô;Ô;Ô;Ô;Ô;Ô;Ô;Ô;Ô;Ô;Ô;Ô;Ô;Ô;Ô;ÔÍ¾Ô Welcome to yet another wonderful issue of the MiSFiTS. So by now you are asking yourself who the hell are the MiSFiTS? Who cares just read this weird shit we have collected and enjoy. If you need help, hang-up and please dial the operator. In this issue, Brady Sex Scandal, weird shit and even sicker weird shit then you can ever hope to read about in the National Enquirer. No you can't find any nude shots of Princess Diana here you sick bastards, no one has sent us any yet. News flash, nude diana .gifs distributed by sick group of evil computer hackers calling themselves the MiSFiTS, story at 11. So if you have something you want to see in flashing ascii text drop it off to us and we'll make an effort to include it in our next issue. We are also looking for sites who wish to carry this shit along with our other related groups. If interested then please contact one of our members. Simple, easy and painless... like sex with your mother. Guest Editor - Raging Swollen Bulging Purple Penis The Pussy Pirate <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><> Bill Clinton's wife is preparing for the speach her husband is going to tell after his victory over Bush. She shaves her pussy and wears a skirt without panties. After her husband's speech, she lifts her skirt, grabs the microphone and say: "READ MY LIPS, NO MORE BUSH!" <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><> A man who worked at the fire department came home from work and told his wife, "You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire department. 'Bell 1' we all put on our coats, 'Bell 2' rings and we slide down the pole, 'Bell 3" rings we are on the truck and ready to go. From now on, we are going to run this house the same way. When I say 'Bell 1', you strip naked. 'Bell 2", you jump into the bed. 'Bell 3', we are going to screw all night." The next night he came home from work and yelled "Bell 1". She took off all her clothes. "Bell 2" she jumped into bed, "Bell 3" they began to screw. After 2 minutes she yelled, "Bell 4". He said, "What the hell is Bell 4?". "More hose," she said, "you ain't nowhere near the fire!" -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Title: taste, actually We're planning our Second Annual Its Not Legal 'Cuz This Residence Hall Is Part Of A Public Institution Home Brewing Experiment (tm) and are in need of help from any of you out there able to send a petri dish of a vaginal yeast infection. Send it to: Colo. State Univ. Rodeo Clown School, 238 Braiden Hall, Ft.Collins, CO, 80521 (don't worry if it gets here during thanksgiving break, it'll just grow down in the mail room at the dorms front desk) Troy "brewing?, well I did go to high school in Wisconsin" Lovata *@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@ Title: Road kill in warm climates A couple of years ago, my brother was treated to an all-expenses paid tour of Saudi Arabia by the United States government. He wound up *buying things* -- desks, chairs, filing cabinets, paper, truck parts, etc. -- from the local Saudi merchants, so he got to see and hear quite a bit about Saudi culture. One of the interesting Saudi customs is the idea that the day and time of your death has been predestined. This doesn't seem to make much difference (since you still don't know when it is), until you realize that it means that there is no relationship between how careful you are and how long you live. So the Saudis are some of the world's fastest and worst drivers -- a quick dive across five lanes of traffic on a highway to get on an exit ramp at 90 mph is normal. Complicating this situation are the camels. Camels are both domestic beasts of burden (used by the nomads) and wild. And camels are stupid. Very, very stupid. So camels will simply wander onto a highway. Needless to say, they can die very quickly this way. Unfortunately, they are not small, like the usual squirrel. This presents the driver with an interesting dilemma: If you hit a camel when you're going 90 mph, you will plow under it and live. Maybe. But if you hit a camel at 60 mph, the amount of time between when your front bumper blows its legs away and when your windshield gets to the point of action is just long enough for its body to fall down to about eye level... According to Saudi law or custom, when someone dies in an accident, an "inquest" is held to verify that no one is at fault and that no legal actions need to be taken. So all of the evidence in the case needs to be preserved until the inquest is held. When a car plows into a camel, this includes the body of the camel. So the Saudi authorities preserve the camel (now on the side of the road) by putting an evidence tag on it, so people know not to tamper with it. It takes a week or so to get to holding the inquest, so the camel gets rather bloated up by then. (My brother was there for three weeks before the temperature broke 100 F *from above*.) (Actually, the rigamarole about the evidence is to make sure that the nomad owning the camel is punished for letting the camel wander by preventing him from cutting up the camel for meat.) When the inquest is over, the camel is disposed of by the traditional nomad's method of trash disposal -- simply taking the evidence tag off and leaving it there. At some point a Pakistani road crew will come by and gather it up. Or maybe not. But before that, the now swelling camel will burst. Apparently, a freshly burst camel can stink up a couple of kilometers of road really well. %$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$ Its amazing what trouble people can get themselves into. POLICE: MAN RAPED COMPUTER PAL Pleads innocent in assault of 12-year-old CAMBRIDGE (AP) -- A Framingham man pleaded innocent yesterday to charges of raping a 12-year-old Lexington boy he met through a computer bulletin board service. Michael Austin, 34, was indicted by a grand jury Thursday and charged with rape of a child, indecent assault and battery on a child, assault and battery and disseminating harmful matter to minors. Middlesex County District Attorney Thomas Reilly said the charges demonstrated the need for parents to monitor use of computer bulletin boards, which allow users to send messages through their home computers similar to a telephone party line. "Parents should reinforce to their children that strangers are strangers," Reilly said. "Children may think that they know a person because of a steady communication with them through a computer bulletin board and may not be wary about meeting them in person, as they might someone on the street," he said. Austin communicated with the youth and two other boys, ages 15 and 16, through computer bulletin boards, said Jill Reilly, spokeswoman for the district attorney's office. Austin is accused of arranging to meet the 12-year-old boy, taking him for a ride to Burlington and then raping him in a park in Lexington December 8, she said. He also is accused of telling the boys that he had pornographic images in his home computer system that they could access on their computers, Reilly said. A pretrial conference before Judge Robert Barton was scheduled for Jam. 30. Austin was being held on $25,000 cash bail. David Sobel, legal counsel for Computer Professionals for Social Responsibility in Washington, D.C., said, "I have heard references to the fact that officials in Virginia had set up a sting operation using a bulletin board for a child pornography ring". Despite the potential for abuse with the bulletin board systems, Sobel said the computer systems are only the means of communication and should not be viewed as the problem. #!#!#!#!#!#!#!#!#!#!#!#!#!#!#!#!#!#!#!#!#!#!#!#!#!#!#!#!#!#!#!#!#!#!#!#!#!#!#! Title: Three Stories 1. The girl without a "kootch". One woman at the place I work, let's call her "Michelle", told me about a job she had in Oklahoma City, at a chain motel of some sort. Michelle was one of the cleaning staff. She worked with another woman, who would take Michelle to bars after work, try to get her liquored up, and convince her to to to gay/lesbo bars. It turns out this other "woman" was a pre-op transsexual, a genetic male who was taking female hormones in order to grow titties, but had not had the ritualistic johnson-ectomy required to become A True Woman. Ms Pre-Op was trying to get into Michelle's pants in order to father a child on Michelle, before having the Ol' Fellah removed, and a Bearded Clam installed. 2. Michelle attended a Bruce Springsteen concert in 1985. She was in the "dance pit" down in front of the stage. She witnessed a young woman slip and fall to the floor, as the floor was slick with sweat, vomit and a mixture of popcorn butter and Coca-cola. A third young woman, tottering about the dance floor on long, sharp, fetishistic spike heels, staggered backwards, stepping on the head of the fallen lass, putting a spike heel through the flesh of her check. 3. The One True Love of my life, a young woman named "Marissa", told me that she hated OB-GYN appointments because they made her, "queef that jelly they use on their hands for the rest of the day." That evening, after I returned to my apartment, I turned off the lights, began crying and wanked wildly in the dark. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Title: Things People Shove in Their Rectum This I took off of alt.sex when i saw it last semester...... Excerpted from: Rectal foreign bodies: Case reports and a comprehensive review of the world's literature D.B. Busch, Ph.D., M.D., and J.R. Starling, M.D. in the Journal of Surgery, 1986. Abstract The surgical management of two patients presenting with incarcerated, apparently self-inserted foreign bodies is reported. The large volume of prior literature on this subject is reviewed, with a tabluation of 182 previous cases by type and number of objects recovered and with a discussion of patients' age distribution, history, complications, and prognosis. Management problems addressed include history, differential diagnosis of reported pruitis ani, and handling of suspected assault. Case 1. A 39-year-old married white male lawyer presented with a self-inserted perfume bottle in his rectum that he was unable to remove using various objects, including a back scratcher. He had inserted this bottle on previous occasions. Edema of the rectum and sigmoid colon precluded the successful manual removal of the object in the emergency room. ... The 3 by 17 cm object, "Impulse Body Spray," was removed manually after a spinal anesthetic. Table I. Previously reported recovered foreign bodies Glass or ceramic Bottle or jar 31 Bottle with attached rope 1 Glass or cup 12 Light bulb 7 Tube 6 Total 57 Food Apple 1 Banana 2 Carrot 4 Cucumber 3 Onion 2 Parsnip 1 Plantain (with condom) 1 Potato 1 Salami 1 Turnip 1 Zucchini 2 Total 19 Wooden Ax handle 1 Stick or broom handle 10 Miscellaneous or unspecified 3 Total 14 Sexual device Vibrator 23 Dildo 15 Total 38 Kitchen device Dull knife* 1 Ice pick 1 Knife sharpener 1 Mortar pestle 2 Spatula (plastic) 1 Spoon 1 Tin cup 1 Total 8 Miscellaneous tools Candle 1 Flashlight 2 Iron rod 1 Pen 2 Rubber tube 1 Screwdriver 1 Toothbrush 1 Wire spring 1 Total 10 Inflated device Balloon 1 Balloon attached to cylinder 1 Condom 1 Total 3 Ball Baseball 2 Tennis ball 1 Total 3 Miscellaneous containers Baby powder can 1 Candle box 1 Snuff box 1 Total 3 Miscellaneous Bottle cap** 1 Cattle horn 3 Frozen pig's tail 1 "Kangaroo tumor"*** 1 Plastic rod 1 Stone 2 Toothbrush holder 1 Toothbrush package 1 Whip handle 2 Total 13 Grand total 168 cases Collections (one case of each) 2 Glass tubes 72 1/2 Jeweler's saw**** Oil can with potato stopper Piece of wood, peanut** Umbrella handle and enema tubing 2 Glasses Phosohorous matchends (homicide) 402 Stones Toolbox***** 2 Bars soap Beer glass and preserving pot Lemon and cold cream jar 2 Apples Spectacles, suitcase key, tobacco pouch, and magazine Total 14 collection, with approximately 500 objects * Patient complained of "knife-like pain" ** Cannot exclude ingestion *** Unique case of pedunculated perianal skin tumor habitually inserted into rectum **** Multiple episodes of perirectal self-insertion ***** Inside a convict; contained saws and other items usable in escape attempts ()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()() Title: Tuna Surprise! The following story was told to me by a friend. It concerns a girl his girlfriend knew. :) It turns out that this girl liked to engage in some kinky sex acts with her current beau's. In one case she decided to give him a small feast. So she stuffed her cunt full of tuna slad. Her lover feasted on the tuna surprise awaiting him. It was not until a couple of weeks passed that she found her own surprise. She became violently ill....nausea, high fever, abdominal cramps. So, being a somewhat intelligent person she paid a visit to her doctor. It was then she found out what HER surprise was. It turns out that she didn't get rid of all the tuna fish. I guess her beaus tongue just wasn't long enough, or her douche strong enough. The remnants of the tuna were rotting in her cunt, and she had a parasitic infection. The doctor described her tenants as looking like some kind of termite. :) No, i don;t know the followup to this, I GUESS she was cured of the "infection" . Anyone else got some good food stories? Post 'em!!! well i have to run, I am hungry...hmmm...maybe a tuna fish sandwhich? ;) (M)(I))S)(F)(I)(T)(S)(1)(9)(9)(2)(*)(*)(*)(*)(M)(I)(S)(F)(I)(T)(S)(1)(9)(9)(2) Title: STORIES: BRADY I & BRADY II Contents: Brady I - written by some anonymous person. Brady II - written by me. coming soon ... (something similiar) ------------------------------------------------- WARNING - The following stories contain black humour, incest, nonconsensual sex, sexual violence, hetero anal intercourse, pedophilia, inferred bestiality, (you get the idea) If this is not your cup of tea/coffee, please consider - gentle reader - the options available on your newsreader, specifically to skip the remainder of this posting. ------------------------------------------------- You've been warned! It was a warm, sunny day. A typical day at the Brady household. The suburban neighborhood was alive with the sounds of children playing touch football in the street, dogs barking, and cars cruising. Yes, life was beautiful that day----just as life is ALWAYS beautiful at the Brady's. Marsha had just gotten home from high school with Greg and Peter. Jan and Cindy had come home in Mom's car. But, just like it does every weekend, the Brady household was cumming alive. Yes. Mom and Dad had gone out to a dinner engagement with some of Mike's clients. They werent going to be home till about 12 that night. Plenty of time to PLAY! Greg already had the speed out, and was laying a couple of lines for him and Peter. Just then, Marsha came into the room. "Gee, Greg, that speed of yours sure is groovy! Think I can have some?" Greg decided that a little speed was what the entire Brady household needed that night. "Everyone up to MY room! Time to start the evening!" Everybody ran up the stairs to Greg's room, even Alice and Tiger. They all KNEW what Friday night meant up in Greg's room. Not only speed and dope, but if they were lucky, maybe a bit of a "family affair" might start up, like it did LAST Friday. That would be great! Groovy! Once everybody had sniffed a bit of Greg's magic powder, Peter asked the group if it wanted to play "GQ Model", like they did last Friday. YAAAAAAY!, said Cindy. She loved this game. So did Bobby! Oh yeah... Bobby LOVED GQ Model! Because it was always Bobby that got to pose for the group. The rest of the family never told Bobby (cause they figured he'd be upset) that the pictures of him were sent to that strange man down the street to be used for some magazine that none of them had ever heard of. Yes.... In fact, Peter once said that he SAW some of the Bobby pictures a couple of weeks after playing GQ Model. Peter was in a drugstore, and he saw the picture that HE took of Bobby outside on the jungle jim. It was the picture where you could see Greg's hands doing something to Bobby's privates. It was making Bobby hard for the camera. Anyway, everybody at this point was shaking and sweating profusely cause of Greg's great speed. Alice was already pulling out her vibrator, and nervously fingering the switch. Everytime she made it go WRRRRRRRR, Tiger would start to wag his tail. Tiger KNEW what Alice's "Love Gun" could do to a feisty beat up mutt. Marsha walked over to Peter and opened his shirt."No!", cried Bobby unbutton my shirt, and I want Peter to pull my pants down, like last week!" Ok. Bobby got his way. Like he always did. They knew that if they let Bobby call some of the shots early in the GQ game, Bobby would owe each of them a few favors. Heh heh heh. When Peter had finally taken Bobby's underwear off, the group was already visibly getting excited. "Gosh, if only Mom and Dad could be here, like they were last Friday..." Bobby always wished that his Mom and Dad could take part in the family fun each week, but sometimes they just HAD to miss it (even though it hurt them so). Greg got out his two pairs of handcuffs. He gave one pair to Jan and the other pair to Cindy. He told both of them to take ALL their clothes off first, and then to cuff Bobby to the desk. Tiger, meanwhile was jumping up and down----he knew what was NEXT! "OK, TIGER! Show Bobby how much you love him!" Tiger ran over to bondage Bobby, and gave him a tongue bath, paying special attention to those VERY special little boy areas. Yes. Tiger knew how Bobby liked it. All this experience hadn't gone to waste on this dumb canine. Alice, meanwhile, had gone into the Brady's bathroom to get Mrs. Brady's special jar of mentholatum cold cream. And she wasnt going to fix her makeup! No.....Alice was going to give Marsha that VERY special treatment that Marsha always begged for. You see, Marsha loved to look at all her brothers naked, while she had the live-in maid grease her up for some serious anal sex. Yes, and Greg ALWAYS loved to join in. While the flashbulbs were popping in Greg's room, and Bobby's giggling could be heard across the hall, Greg took Marsha to their parent's bedroom. They knew that it was ok to screw in Mom and Dad's room, because Carol and Mike ALWAYS commented on the wonderful smell the room had after such encounters. They knew perfectly well that it was their own daughter's rectum they were smelling----but what the hell, if it turns you on, right? Greg pounced on Marsha and started grabbing her pubic hair. He pulled it out in tufts, while groaning in her ear like a mule. "The SONG! THE SONG" Marsha demanded. She always LOVED it when Greg sodomized her while singing "the song". "OK, Marsha, you got it." "I-N-C... E-S-T... That's what sister means to me." Greg continued to sing this silly nurseryrhime as he vigorously screwed his sister. Yes. Greg had always lusted after Marsha! Ever since the whole family went mule packing the Grand Canyon, and Greg rode right behind Marsha and her creamy pre-pubescent little butt, Greg just couldnt get her out of his mind. That is----when he wasnt thinking about Peter. When Marsha and Greg were done, they went back into Greg's room to see how the GQ Model game was progressing. "Sorry Bobby, we ran out of film...", Peter explained to the obviously dejected Bobby. Maybe next week, we can take MOVIES of you with Dad's camera, instead. Bobby seemed somewhat comforted by this consolation. Alice jumped up in front of the group! "OK! Now its time for my favorite game! NAKED TWISTER!" YAAAAAAAAAY! Everyone was excited. They all loved it when Alice would whip out her Twister game. Cindy was first. Spreading far, she put her right foot on the blue dot, and her left hand on the red dot. Everyone jumped in immediately when they saw the awesome sight of a juicy, fresh 7 year old girl spreading for the family. "Me NEXT!", demanded Jan. She nestled in REAL close to Cindy's smooth warm flesh. Peter was next, his obvious erection rubbing up and down in Cindy's face. Cindy eagerly gobbled it up. But Peter pulled his cock out soon, cause Cindy was just TERRIBLE at giving head. They had tried many times out back in Tiger's doghouse, but she just couldnt seem to keep her teeth out of the way. "Forget it Cindy, you stink at dicksuck!" "Sorry..." "I want Bobby to suck MY weenie! Bobby will suck anything! He likes it, hey Bobby!!!!!!!" Yes, Bobby really enjoyed Peter's weenie in his mouth. Now the entire group of Brady children was piled in one naked heap on Alice's Twister game. Alice ran into Mike's study to get Mike's VCR. "Mr. and Mrs. Brady SURE wouldnt want to miss THIS!!!" Alice exclaimed! No, Mr. and Mrs. Brady DIDNT want to miss this. They had been trying to get all the kids together on the Twister game for WEEKS! But since, Jan had had the clap last week and the week before, they couldnt do it. "Give Tiger your Love Gun, Alice! Come on! PLEASE???!", the kids cried. Ok. Tiger always loves it at high speed. "Can I help???", asked Greg. Greg really liked to help insert the plastic toy while beating off. It really gave him a thrill. Sure, Greg, no problem. WRRRRRRRRRRRRRR, went the Love Gun, and Greg started to furiously beat off while staring intently into Tiger's love-filled eyes. The dog shot its load easily, like it always does. "Gosh golly, Tiger, cant you EVER hold out??", cried Cindy. She always wished that Tiger had a little more staying power than he did. I guess thats because of all the times that Tiger had shot his load early while with Cindy. You know how unsatifying that can be. "Stop whining, Cindy." begged Peter. "I hate it when you whine about Tiger being a little fast on the trigger." "You know that he is sensi-_ tive about that!" "Sorry..." mumbled Cindy. "Just for that you little bitch, its time to bring YOU to the playhouse!!!" NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! cried Cindy in desperation. Yes. It was time for Cindy to learn what penetration is all about. Time for Cindy to become a "real" woman. Hmmmmmmmmmm. Peter and Greg handcuffed the little girl to the rafters of the playhouse, suspending her above the floor. "OWWWWWW!", cried cindy, in obvious pain. You think THIS hurts you little bitch, wait until GREG whips out BIG EDDIE! Alice HAD to leave at this point. She always DID love watching Cindy have sex, but when it came to BIG EDDIE..... Well, Alice had ALREADY seen Greg's throbbing member at work on Bobby, she realized that she really didnt need to watch it at work on Cindy too. Greg greased up his cock, stroking the HUGE length back and forth. Cum was already oozing from its tip. He placed it against Cindy's pussy, and SHOVED it in HARD! No mercy from this big brother. Peter, meanwhile had greased up his dick with Crisco and had placed it on Cindy's tight little rosebud butthole. OUCH! Yeah, you know it.... This was DEFINITELY going to hurt this little 7 yr old. But what the hell. THRUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSST! Cindy screamed LOUDLY! Up in the house, Marsha and Jan were busy eating one another out, when they heard their little sister scream in pain. Immediately on hearing this, Marsha ripped her face from Jan's bush and began to shudder wildly. Jan had NEVER seen her sister EVER have such a quaking orgasm!!!!!!1 She bucked wildly, licking Jan's pussy juice from her chin, fingering her clit, and she fell in a naked heap to the floor. "Gosh, Marsha, was that all just because my cunt tastes so good??" "No way, Jan. I just thought it was SO GROOVY to hear Cindy scream in pain, I just COULDNT help but explode!" "I understand...." Well, this is a long story, that could never be told in one night. But be sure to stay tuned to find out about what Mike and Carol did upon returning to the Brady household! What did Mom and Dad do, when Peter had to tell them that he had ruptured poor little Cindy's rectum... What did Alice say when she found out that it was little BOBBY who was stealing all of her crotchless underwear. Find out. ------- BRADY.FUN II JAN-BECOMES-A-VIBRATOR by j.v. It was a typical evening at the Brady household. Children were playing merrily outside in the golden rays of the set- ting sun. Every now and then screams of childhood merriment filtered in the windows - left open in the face of summer heat. Upstairs, Mike and Carol were getting ready for a dinner engagement with one of Mike's more well-heeled clients. These engagements were always important to Mike's success, and he always made sure that Carol was along, as sometimes her services were invaluable in procuring the fi- nal deal. "Aren't you done yet?", he asked imploringly, turning to straighten his tie before the full-length mirror. "Now Mike, you know I couldn't get dressed earlier because Jan kept running to the bathroom". "I'll bet the little bitch has an infection again... or do you suppose she's barfing?", asked Mike. "I don't think so", said Carol, "Cin- dy was the one that was tossing her cookies, last time I checked..." "actually... I wonder whatever happened with that?". "No! No! - The black ones", asserted Mike, "He hates the red stuff!". Carol was in the act of putting on some strawberry edible underwear. She twisted her hips in the rays of the setting sun after she corrected the oversight, stroking her pussy through the material. Across the street, Peter and his friend David were taking turns at the tele- scope. "What a hot bitch!", said Dave cranking his dick as he watched the spectacle. "Here - Let me have a look" said Peter grabbing the scope and pressing it to his eye. Dave was too busy in his own little world to mind - frantically pumping his prepubescent manhood until it spat white foam. Peter licked his lips as he watched the spectacle his mother was presenting. She looked almost as good across the street as she did on top of him. She left his view, almost dressed. "Damn!",he cursed and turned his attention to a more interesting target - the bathroom. Inside, he could see Cindy squatting on the toilet, her dress hiked up above her waist, and her little legs dangling on each side. Pete zoomed the scope when he saw her lean forward. Her face turned beet red - apparently she was having a hard time. In the background, Peter could barely see Marcia hike her skirt and grease her anus with two fingers, wiping the excess off on some toilet paper that she had in the other hand. Right then and there, Peter knew that it would be an interesting night at the Brady household. "Ho! Ho! Ho!",laughed Mike as Carol tried her hand at the whip he just bought. She packed it into her purse along with a vibrator and some K-Y jelly, and headed for the door. As she passed by Mike, he grabbed a handful of ass and pulled her close to him. "Don't forget Tiger!", he said - a look of amusement crossing his features. "Oh Mike", said Carol, "Even you know that Mr. Rogers isn't into feisty white mutts!". "Maybe later", she winked with a positive gleam in her eyes before she turned and headed out into the street. Mike followed after. "Damn - What a good piece!", he thought as he watched her ass as she crossed to the car. "What a FUCKING GOOD PIECE!". "Mmmf!", Jan was tied spread-eagled to the lower bunk bed while Alice rode her merrily. "Eat me out, you little bitch!", she grunted, pressing her cunt hard against Jan's face, "or I'll tell mom you're barfing!". Jan's tiny 13 year old body buckled hard in her repeated efforts to get air and Alice was *loving* every minute of it. "Bobby!", she yelled, "My broom! GET MY BROOM!". She wanted to work Jan's cunt something fierce - she wasn't gonna lube it or nothing. She just wanted to see her squirm, hear her gasping under- neath her. Almost snuff her out and then bring her around again for some more. The funny thing was that Jan liked it too. Apparently, her mind was pretty fucked up after all that glue she used to sniff. Apple-cheeked Bobby appeared at the door a short time later. He had a broom, some kind of box, and a shit-eating grin on his face. "You rang?", he asked. He walked up to the bed with a slight limp, as his ass was still sore from Greg's tool. What was even worse, Peter had just come home from across the street - horny as hell, and had demanded instant lip-service from our little hero. "What the hell is that?", groaned Alice - pointing to the box. Jan was starting to pass out underneath her, but Alice was feeling mighty good. She leaned forward to let her have some air, and laughingly ripped of a smelly, loud fart in the poor little girl's face. "It's Peter's volcano power supply!", said Bobby, "It generates over 50,000 volts!". Alice sat back down on Jan's face as she thought about the possibilities. Underneath her, she felt Jan begin squirming again. "Get me a bucket of wa- ter!", she shouted, hoarse with animal lust "I've got an idea!". Upstairs, Greg was spreading mentholeum cream all over his man-sized tool while Martia and Peter were undressing Cindy on their parent's bed. She trembled as they stripped off her little yellow dress and threw it in a crumpled heap. Her white panties were next. "Ha - lookit the shit-stain!", laughed Peter as he indicated a brown line in the panties. They pushed her face-down against the bed, her little bare butt sticking up in the air. "Their'll be more than shit in there when I'm through with her", boasted Greg as he submit- ted his tool to one last inspection. Peter took off to get the camera. These sessions looked great on film and he knew a man down the street who liked to buy pictures like these. In fact, once Greg said he saw some of these pictures in an actual magazine somewhere... Cindy was having second thoughts. She kept trying to get away, screaming "No!", "No!". However, a few good whacks from Marcia with a belt buckle seemed to reassure her and help calm her fears. Greg poised himself before her trem- bling rosebud anus. His cock burned from the menthol cream he had spread all over it. Peter licked his lips - He knew first-hand what that cock could do. THRUUUUUST! Greg shoved. Cindy screamed. Upstairs, Alice climaxed as she rode Jan. Jan's body was vibrating with an electrically induced mo- tion. Suddenly the power went out. "What the fuck happened?!?!", yelled Greg, majorly pissed off that he couldn't see what he was doing. Bobby came running in. "Alice hooked Jan up to your volcano power supply! - I'll bet that did it!". They went into the room and Pete brought a flashlight from the cupboard. Alice was looking down at a motionless form on the bed. "Shit...", she said "I think she's dead...". Cindy let out a plaintative wail. "What'll we do???" ,she was breaking out into tears, "What'll we tell mom and dad?". "Who cares?", said Marcia eyeing the stain that was spread- ing beneath Jan's form, "THAT WAS MY BED!". "I have an idea", said Greg, a mischievious look in his eyes, "A GREAT IDEA!". He climbed on top of the bed, like preacher climbing on a soapbox. "HOW ABOUT SOME NECROPHI- LIA!!??" The rest of this story is history. Mom and Dad took the news pretty well and they told the authorities that Jan ran off with a biker. As for the body, they stuffed it in an old freezer in the basement - keeping it for those nights when Greg or the others were interested in some forbidden action. 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