R a N d O m A c C e S s H u M o R RAH! RAH! Volume 0 Number 5 February 1993 A rag-tag collection of fugitive humor, some of which is vaguely related to the BBS/Online System world. Editor: Dave Bealer Member of the Disktop Publishing Association Copyright 1993 Dave Bealer, All Rights Reserved Random Access Humor is an irregular production of: VaporWare Communications 32768 Infinite Loop Sillycon Valley, CA. 80486-DX2 USA, Earth, Sol System, Milky Way WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! The "look and feel" of Random Access Humor has been specifically earmarked, spindled and polygraphed. Anyone who attempts to copy this look and feel without express written consent of the publisher will be fed to rabid radioactive hamsters by our Security Director, Vinnie "The Knife" Calamari. TABLE OF INCONTINENCE: About Vaporware Communications.....................................01 Editorial - A Format For All Reasons...............................01 Ski Laptop.........................................................02 Software Acquisition Blues.........................................02 Enlightening the Master............................................03 The Adver-cow Cycle Strikes Again!.................................05 Grunged Glossary...................................................06 A Coke and a File..................................................06 Rune's Rag.........................................................06 Attention Electronic Publishers!...................................07 1993 RAH Reader Survey.............................................08 Taglines Seen Around the Nets......................................10 Masthead - Submission Information.................................A-1 RAH Distribution System...........................................A-2 Random Access Humor Page 1 February 1993 About Vaporware Communications VaporWare Communications is an operating division of VaporWare Corporation, a public corporation. Stock Ticker Symbol: SUKR VaporWare Corporate Officers: Luther Lecks President, Chief Egomaniac Officer Dorian Debacle, M.B.A. Gabriel Escargot V.P., Operations V.P., Customer Service Pav Bhaji, M.Tax.(Avoidance) Carlos Goebbels V.P., Finance V.P., Political Correctness Kung Pao Har Hoo, M.D., Ph.D., D.Sc. F.A.C.S, C.P.A., S.P.C.A., Y.M.C.A., L.E.D., Q.E.D., op. cit., et al. V.P., Research & Development --------------------------------------------------------------------- Editorial - A Format For All Reasons by Dave Bealer The past month has made it abundantly clear that Winter is prime time for BBSing. The RAH distribution system has grown by 56%, helped in no small measure by the editor's talent for self-promotion. The much anticipated attack of the Holiday Modemers did materialize, but no serious damage was done; at least nothing that massive quantities of antacids can't cure. Beginning with this issue, RAH will be published in two versions each month. The standard one-piece ASCII text version you have grown used to will continue to be produced. It will be accompanied by a version designed for use with the Readroom BBS door produced by Michael Gibbs of Exhibit A Communications in San Clemente, CA. This READROOM.TOC version will also include a personal reader for MS-DOS users. Why is this new version being published? During my upload frenzy in early January I was surprised by the number of systems that were making RAH available for online viewing. The Readroom format is for an easy-to-use BBS door that is already being supported by several of the leading periodicals in the electronic publishing industry. It also serves the needs of users who prefer to use a reader for viewing RAH, rather than viewing the plain-text version with a browser. Look for both RAH versions on your favorite BBS. The plain text version will always be in a file named: RAHmmyy.ZIP (RAH0992.ZIP for the debut issue). The new READROOM.TOC format edition will be in a file named: RAHmmyyR.ZIP (RAH0293R.ZIP for February 1993). Version 1.2 of the Readroom Door can be found on many BBSs as RDRM12.ZIP. This issue of RAH includes the first annual reader survey. Please take a moment and complete the survey. RAH is still a small, rapidly growing online magazine. Send in your ideas on improving RAH. You can return the survey via e-mail or snail-mail. Addresses are included with the survey. {RAH} Random Access Humor Page 2 February 1993 Ski Laptop by Dave Bealer The high tech professional of the nineties would no sooner leave the office without a laptop computer than a lobbyist would pass up a power lunch. Of course, as with most good things, some people take them to extremes. The latest high-tech yuppie fad sweeping the nation is the use of laptop/palmtop/pinkietop computers while skiing. Portable computers have been a common sight in hotels catering to business travellers for several years now, but they only began showing up in numbers at resort hotels, especially ski resorts, quite recently. Part of the reason is the steadily decreasing size of these systems, accompanied by increased battery life. Solar powered, molecule sized computers are expected out any day now. A large portion of the increase must be attributed to the efforts of the skiing industry, always quick to leap on any way of increasing their sales. Many years ago the skiing industry solved part of their seasonal difficulties by making their own snow whenever it was cold enough. They are at it again today, this time trying to attract business people who may have decided in the past not to spend the weekend skiing because of that backlog of work at the office. Most ski areas in the U.S. have installed the basics of laptop skiing accessories, like battery chargers in the lift chairs and fax modems in the lodge. Innovative resorts have been offering more advanced features, like Global Positioning Systems (GPS) for cross country skiers and wireless packet modems. On the other side of the coin, laptop manufacturers have been quick to respond to the demands of users with many new features designed for the skiing laptop user. Screen defrosters/wipers are a necessity for most users, while padded gate guards have been developed for slalom racers. Members of the Jamaican winter Olympic team have been contracted to appear in television commercials touting these new laptop features. Meanwhile, the International Olympic Committee has taken steps to ban the use of laptops, GPS and other high-tech innovations during skiing competitions at the Winter Olympics in 1994. {RAH} --------------------------------------------------------------------- Software Acquisition Blues by Dave Bealer They call him Clipper! Clipper! Faster than lightning. No lowly C, is smarter than he. And we know Clipper, Lives in a world full of data, Most of it hosed up, Thanks to C. A. {RAH} Random Access Humor Page 3 February 1993 Enlightening the Master by Greg Borek (1:261/1129@fidonet.org) It was at the top of the mountain that I finally found the Master. "Oh great Master, I have travelled very far to seek your sage counsel," I said. "What knowledge do you seek, my child?" he asked. "I have made this difficult journey to ask a difficult question: Should I make a career move?" "That depends on your gifts and what you now do. What is it you do presently, my child?". "Master, I am a computer programmer and frankly I am beginning to have my doubts whether I have chosen the best path for me." "What is a computer?", he asked. I was dumbfounded; I had not anticipated this. Of course I should have. "Master, I am truly sorry I have wasted your time. I also regret having made this journey for nothing." He looked surprised. "Whatever happened to '...The point of the journey is not to arrive, Anything can happen'? You have forgotten the words of Rush already." "Rush Limbaugh said that?" "No, no, the rock group Rush. There is another source of inspiration called Rush? It is obvious much has changed while I have been here. However, it is of little consequence. You have not yet answered my question about the computer." "Well, Master, a computer is a useful device used to remember things", I said hesitantly. "Like a piece of paper?" "Yes, but it is very complicated. They can also reach conclusions based on the information that you feed them". "Oh, more like a clever chipmunk. How does one construct one of these wondrous chipmunk machines? Of what kind of wood?" "Actually, Master, I do not know how to construct one, but they are based on sand and metal. My job has been to feed this computer a series of instructions as specified by some people called 'users'." "Ah, this is the 'programming' of which you spoke?" "Yes, Master. I reduce complicated real world problems into a set of instructions that a computer can understand." "By this programming, do you mean speaking these instructions into the machine and having it execute them?" "No, Master. Computers are more primitive than that. You must form your instructions in a way the computer can understand. This is a cerebral, sedentary, and difficult process that requires much thought and consideration." "Why, my child?" "Well, the computer can only understand in a very limited way, and one must be careful or you will create bugs." "These computers create insects if your encryption is ambiguous or not accurate?" "No, Master, a bug is not an insect at all; it is a usually harmful unintended side effect of your code." Random Access Humor Page 4 February 1993 "To make yourselves more important you make this process more difficult by writing the instructions in code. Very interesting. I can't say that it is very clever though. This approach probably wastes more time for you than it impresses the users. No wonder this 'programming' is a time consuming process." "The instructions are not meant to be encrypted. The instructions are standardized so that different people can work on the same program." "So you must often interpret another programmer's encrypted private communications with this wondrous machine." "Master, it is almost universally the case that the previous programmer did not have something we call a 'clue'. Either he used the position to try to learn how to program, did not know what the users wanted, or what the users wanted changed while he was working. In any event he got while the gettin' was good." "I see. Besides other programmers you consider inferior to yourself, it seems to me that you are vaguely dissatisfied with your users. Tell me, why you have come to see me?" "Well, the programming part is fine and if I was left to do only that, I would be quite happy to create programs and do battle with the bugs. Master, the users are just so darn distracting." "But do not these users provide you with your very reason for creating your programs?" "Well, yes, but they are not the least bit appreciative or understanding of what goes into programming. They do wild, unanticipated things with the program you give them and expect sense from the program's response. They are often vague about how they want the information manipulated, but now that I think about it that probably comes from not knowing at the start what information would be available after the program is running." "A sound conclusion, my child. I get the impression that these users could program the computer themselves if they wanted to, but are only critical of your work to improve your abilities." "Users program? Good Lord, no. Most of them wouldn't know where to begin." "I see. So, you take a series of instructions, probably not all of your own creation, encrypt them, and if there are no insects in your encryption this clever chipmunk-like computer machine rearranges the information to suit the users who probably cannot duplicate or understand the intricacies of the process." "Yes, that's right, Master." He gazed off into the distance for a minute. He then said, "It seems to me that to a user that knew nothing substantial of this process, to him...it would be indistinguishable from magic. You are one of the wizards of your age." I left happy. {RAH} ================= Greg Borek is a C programmer with a "Highway Helper" (OK, "Beltway Bandit" - but don't tell his boss we told you) in Falls Church, Virginia. He has previously been mistaken for a vampire. Random Access Humor Page 5 February 1993 The Adver-Cow Cycle Strikes Again! by Dave Bealer I'm not sure what it is about cows, cycles and computer ads. In the January issue of a major PC industry magazine only seven pages of the first forty were without advertising. Two pages of the seven were accounted for by the table of contents, one page was the masthead and two pages contained letters from readers. This left only two pages for information actually written by the staff of the magazine...not necessarily a bad thing in itself. Thirty-three pages of ads - several of them glossy pages with fold- outs, pushing the actual number of ad pages up to thirty-nine. So what are all these pages of advertising being used to sell? At first it seemed I had accidentally picked up a copy of CYCLING TODAY, since two ads featured bicycles and one featured motorcycles. Despite the strange props, these ads did seem aimed at selling computer hardware or software. Then I saw the cow. Steer, actually. Longhorn steer to be precise. Why was I looking at a longhorn steer? A steer proclaimed to be a "New Breed?" I *had* heard of longhorn steers before. Maybe this "new breed" of longhorn steer comes with a built-in SCSI interface? I turned the glossy fold-out page to find out more... And saw the cow. This one really was a cow. OK, this has to be a Gateway 2000 ad, right? Wrong. Across the bottom of the page was the name of a Korean automobile manufacturer. I didn't know they made cows in Korea. What's more, why are our tax dollars being used to pay American dairy farmers not to produce milk while we import cows from Korea? Unfolding one more layer of the glossy fold-out revealed that this really was an ad for computer hardware. So a Korean automobile manufacturer sells computers "designed and built in America." I've seen this syndrome before. A few years back I owned a VCR and an automobile made by the same Japanese mega-corp. I have long suspected that these two items were built on the same assembly line. The same broken assembly line. These conglomerations make for some interesting possibilities. You could very easily have a Korean car with a built-in 486DX/2-66 as a trip computer. Just think of it - running Automap right from the dashboard. You could run an ethernet connection to the back seat and let the kids play games during those long drives over the river and through the woods to grandmother's house. Of course Grandmother's house comes equipped with a Clapper (tm) these days. That way in case grandma falls down and can't get up, at least she can clap the lamp off and on, sending Morse code signals to the neighbors. {RAH} --------------------------------------------------------------------- Sound Byte: One man's art is another man's toilet paper... Please don't squeeze the Rembrandts! Random Access Humor Page 6 February 1993 Grunged Glossary by Dave Bealer This time the Grunged Glossary takes a look at Graphics systems: Crayola Graphics Assortment (CGA) - Allows users to share and trade colors to fit the current application. CGA is one of the most portable graphics formats. Etching Graphics Approach (EGA) - Modern day variation of the old technique for luring the girl back to your place - or getting your face slapped. Vegetarian Graphics Approval (VGA) - A nonviolent, non-exploitative, politically correct system for displaying graphics. Especially popular for displaying still- lifes. X-rated Graphics Arrest (XGA) - Although frowned upon sharply by the open minded controllers of other people's tastes, this graphics format remains popular. XGA can sometimes involve a great deal of swapping. {RAH} --------------------------------------------------------------------- A Coke and a File by Dave Bealer Carnegie-Mellon University (CMU) once had (and still may have) a Coke machine attached to the Internet. It was one of those ancient machines that still uses actual bottles, which was kept filled by the computer center student staff. If you 'finger'ed it, (ie issued a command normally used to see who's logged into a UNIX machine) it told you if any of the 'categories' were empty, and the last time the machine had been filled. That way, if it was out of your flavor, or had just been filled (and the soda was therefore warm), you wouldn't have to give up your terminal for nothing. Those who doubt the veracity of this tale should note that sometime RAH contributor and ace programmer Greg Borek is a CMU alumnus. This gives you some idea of how CMU came by its reputation for having weird students. {RAH} --------------------------------------------------------------------- RUNE'S RAG What is it, you may well ask. It is the Best Electronic Magazine to come down the ether pike since RAH broke into the bit stream. There is something for every one in Rune's Rag. We are show-casing some of the best new authors in North America. There are as many different styles and genres as there are readers (human readers, that is). If you enjoy: Horror, Political, Earthy, Poetry, Science Fiction, Macabre, Satire, Whatnots and more, you will enjoy Rune's Rag. Random Access Humor Page 7 February 1993 Some authors represented in the February issue will be: Willard, Christianson, Woodward, Fieler, Francis and more. There is a short bio posted with each authors work so you may learn more about them. You will find the stories by these authors comparable to what you would expect from paper magazines. Save a Tree -- read an electronic magazine. Rune's Rag may be FREQ'd as RUNE for the current issue. For those of you interested in contributing to the e-magazine see the end of the current issue, for guidelines. WRITERS BIZ BBS is the home of this electronic magazine, (314) 774-5327 (data). If you are into antiquated methodologies, you can contact us by US Mail: PO Box 472, Waynesville, MO 65583. We can provide a printed copy of the Rag via mail for a paltry $10 each (on printer paper). If you like what you read in the Rag -- look for those author's works to appear in a book store near you and support them with a purchase. They will be glad you did and so will you. You can FREQ RUNE from 1:284/201 and other Great BBS's around the nation -- like The Puffins Nest 1:261/1139. The magazine is done in pure ASCII format so is compatible with most platforms. An Ansi version is also available in READROOM Door format. This version is FREQ'd as RUNER for the latest issue. Back issues are available as RUNEmmyy.zip, for READROOM versions it is RUNEyymm.zip. RUNE'S RAG is distributed in the Shareware concept. Enjoy! Support the Arts and the Shareware concept. Rick Arnold Editor, RUNE'S Rag {RAH} --------------------------------------------------------------------- Attention Electronic Publishers! Random Access Humor (RAH), the online world's leading monthly electronic humor magazine, is now seeking humorous electronic books for review. Non-computer related humor books will be considered. The review of your book will appear in the fastest growing online humor periodical in North America. A few issues have even made it across "the pond" to Europe. The review will include complete contact/ordering information, if provided with the review copy. RAH supports the shareware concept and will make all submitted shareware books available for download from The Puffin's Nest (TPN), the RAH Headquarters BBS. This includes books not actually selected for review in RAH. How to Submit Review Copies: Review copies *must* be submitted in electronic format. Hypertext or other executable formats must be compatible with MS-DOS and/or MS-Windows. If your book needs a reader, include a copy of it (the DOS/Windows restrictions also apply to readers). Plain ASCII text is acceptable, provided the filename is MS-DOS compatible. Random Access Humor Page 8 February 1993 If you run a Fido-technology mailer, you can simply file-attach your submission to a netmail message to Dave Bealer at one of the following addresses: FidoNet> 1:261/1129 SailNet> 53:5000/1129 CinemaNet> 68:1410/101 You may also upload your review submission to The Puffin's Nest BBS, (410) 437-3463, 1200-14400 bps (V.32bis). Be sure to leave a logoff message to Dave Bealer letting him know this is a submission for review in RAH. Otherwise you can send your submission on a 5.25" or 3.5" diskette (MS-DOS format, any density), to the following address: Random Access Humor P.O. Box 595 Pasadena, MD. 21122 If you expect any kind of reply, make sure to include an electronic return address (on FidoNet or the Internet) with your submission. If you want your $0.50 diskette back, be sure to include a postage prepaid, self addressed return mailer. Surely a bargain. Send us your humorous e-books today! {RAH} --------------------------------------------------------------------- Help Wanted Investigative Reporter needed for the staff of Random Access Humor. Experience in technical reporting and ability to follow orders required. Ability to work well with hamsters preferred. Salary Negotiable. --------------------------------------------------------------------- 1993 Random Access Humor (RAH) Reader Survey Please answer all questions completely and accurately. Please complete and return this survey after reading this issue of RAH, even if it is no longer February 1993. The pattern in which we receive survey responses can tell us things about RAH distribution. Name _________________________________________ Age _________ Place of Residence: City _________________________ State/Prov ______ Country ______ (Full address not necessary) Where did you get this copy of RAH? _____ Friend _____ BBS Name of BBS ______________________________________ BBS Primary Access Phone (____) ____-______ # BBS Lines: ________ BBS Location: City __________________ State/Prov _____ Country _____ Random Access Humor Page 9 February 1993 Does this BBS offer RAH for online reading? (Y/N) ____________ Are you the Sysop of this BBS? (Y/N) __________ How many RAH issues are available for download from this BBS? ________ How many BBSs in your area carry RAH? ___________ When did you make your first call to a BBS? (Month/Year) ____________ RAH Content: RAH is currently focused on publishing only humor related to computers and BBS/Online systems. Would you like to see non-computer/BBS specific humor in RAH? If so, what types? Would you object to seeing classified advertising in future issues of RAH? What do you like best about RAH? Is there anything you'd really like to see in future RAH issues? Please submit this survey form electronically, if possible, to: via FidoNet: Dave Bealer @ 1:261/1129 via Internet: Dave_Bealer@f1129.n261.z1.fidonet.org (or dave.bealer, depending on your system's requirements) You can also print the SURVEY file included in the February RAH archive file and snail-mail it to: RAH Survey 1993 Random Access Humor P.O. Box 595 Pasadena, MD. 21122 Thank you for helping make RAH a better magazine. {RAH} Random Access Humor Page 10 February 1993 --- Taglines Seen Around the Nets He does the work of three men: Larry, Moe and Curly. ROM wasn't built in a day. But soft, what bird through yonder window breaks? A procrastinator's work is never done. Welcome to Westworld, where nothing can go wornggg... Never judge a book by its movie. "Captain, why not just give the Borg Windows 3.1?" - Worf "Captain, I sense a million minds staring at my cleavage." Call me Ishmael. I won't ANSWER, but... My favorite mythical creature? The honest politician. Error opening CLINTON.LIE Cannot recover COUNTRY.USA Leftists are among the first to speak of their rights. A penny saved is a Congressional spending oversight. If you save the world too often, it begins to expect it. "My God, it's full of stores!" - 2001: A Shopping Odyssey WWhhaatt ddooeess dduupplleexx mmeeaann?? I like kids, but I don't think I could eat a whole one. AIBOHPHOBIA - the fear of palindromes. Oh sure! But what's the speed of dark? Move your vowels every day or you'll get consonated. If puns are outlawed, only outlaws will have puns. RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure. I used to jog, but the ice kept falling out of my glass. I was the next door kid's imaginary friend. Don't walk through the screen door, you might strain yourself. If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand. Random Access Humor Page A-1 February 1993 Random Access Humor Masthead: Editor: Dave Bealer Acting Deputy Assistant Editor: Scott White Contact: The Puffin's Nest BBS FidoNet: 1:261/1129 Internet: f1129.n261.z1.fidonet.org BBS: (410) 437-3463 (1200-14400/V.32bis) Regular Mail: (Only if you have no other way to reach us!) Random Access Humor c/o Dave Bealer P.O. Box 595 Pasadena, MD. 21122 USA Random Access Humor (RAH) is published monthly by Dave Bealer as a disservice to the online community. Although the publisher's BBS may be a part of one or more networks at any time, RAH is not affiliated with any BBS network or online service. RAH is a compilation of individual articles contributed by their authors. The contribution of articles to this compilation does not diminish the rights of the authors. The opinions expressed in RAH are those of the authors and are not necessarily those of the publisher. Random Access Humor is Copyright 1993 Dave Bealer. All Rights Reserved. Duplication and/or distribution is permitted for non- commercial purposes only. Any system which charges hourly connect fees is obviously commercial. Any system which charges more than $10 per month ($120/yr) for download privileges is considered to be a commercial system for these purposes and may not distribute RAH. RAH may not be distributed on diskette, CD-ROM or in hardcopy form for a fee. For any other use, contact the publisher. RAH may only be distributed in unaltered form. Online systems whose users cannot access the original binary archive file may offer it for viewing or download in text format, provided the original text is not modified. Readers may produce hard copies of RAH or backup copies on diskette for their own personal use only. RAH may not be distributed in combination with any other publication or product. Many of the brands and products mentioned in RAH are trademarks of their respective owners. Copies of the current issue of RAH may be obtained by manual download or Wazoo/EMSI File Request from The Puffin's Nest BBS (FREQ: RAH), or from various sites in several BBS networks. Back issues of RAH may be obtained by download or file request from The Puffin's Nest BBS. Article contributions to RAH are always welcome. All submissions must be made electronically. File attach your article to a netmail message to Dave Bealer at 1:261/1129. E-mail may also be sent via Internet to: dave.bealer@f1129.n261.z1.fidonet.org Random Access Humor Page A-2 February 1993 Tagline and filler submissions may be made via e-mail. Article submissions should be made via file. Submitted files must be plain ASCII text files in normal MS-DOS file format: artname.RAH; where artname is a descriptive file name and RAH is the mandatory extension. Your text should be less than 70 columns across for widest readability. If your article does not conform to these simple specs, it may get lost or trashed. Also note that such imaginative names as RAH.RAH might get overlaid by the blatherings of similarly minded contributors. If your hardware is incapable of producing file names in the proper format, you may send your article as one or more e-mail messages. It will not be possible to make private responses to any submissions or correspondence received. The editors reserve the right to publish or not to publish any submission as/when they see fit. The editors also reserve the right to "edit", or modify any submission prior to publication. This last right will rarely be used, typically only to correct spelling or grammar misteaks that are not funny. RAH is a PG rated publication, so keep it (mostly) clean. RAH can accept only the following types of material for publication: 1) Any material in the public domain. 2) Material for which you own the copyright. If you wrote it yourself, you are automatically the copyright holder. 3) Authorized agents for a copyright holder (typically an organization) may submit material on behalf of that holder. In writing jargon, RAH is deemed to be given "One Time Rights" to anything submitted for publication unless otherwise noted in the message accompanying the contribution. You still own the material, and RAH will make no use of the material other than publishing it electronically in the usual manner. Your article may be selected for publication in a planned "Best of RAH" electronic book. If you want your copyright notice to appear in your article, place it as desired in the text you submit. Previously published articles may be submitted, but proper acknowledgement must be included: periodical name, date of previous publication. RAH Distribution System: (Sites bearing the designation will accept your contributions and forward them to the editors.) (All these systems would be good places to find sysops with a sense of humor...seemingly a rarity these days.) The Puffin's Nest Pasadena, MD. Sysop: Dave Bealer FidoNet> 1:261/1129 (410) 437-3463 14400 (V.32bis) SailNet> 53:5000/1129 CinemaNet> 68:1410/101 Current RAH Issue (text format): FReq: RAH Current RAH Issue (Readroom format): FReq: RAHR Back Issues of RAH: (text) FReq: RAHmmyy.ZIP (RAH0992.ZIP for premiere issue) Back Issues of RAH: (Readroom) FReq: RAHmmyyR.ZIP (RAH0293R.ZIP and later only) Complete Writers Guidelines: FReq: RAHWRITE Complete Distributor Info: FReq: RAHDIST Random Access Humor Page A-3 February 1993 RAH Gateway Systems: Wings and Wheels BBS Cheasapeake, VA. Sysop: Scott White FidoNet> 1:275/6 (804) 424-0394 14400 (V.32bis) RaceNet> 73:2601/0 Flynet> 196:1130/2 CrossNet> 73:2601/0 InterSports> 103:1032/0 Pooh's Corner Fells Point, MD. Sysop: Mark Truelove FidoNet> 1:261/1131 (410) 327-9263 14400 (V.32bis) RBBSnet> 8:936/206 FilNet> 33:410/0 CandyNet> 42:1031/1 The Depths of Hell Bayonne, NJ. Sysop: Eric Knorowski FidoNet> 1:107/813 (201) 437-5706 14400 (HST) FishNet> 21:102/101 CandyNet> 42:1011/1 ChateauNet> 100:5801/100 007LZ Southfield, MI. Sysop: Gary Groeller FidoNet> 1:120/636 (313) 569-4454 14400 (V.32bis) W-Net_fts> 66:636/1 The Edge of Sanity Dearborn, MI. Sysop: Tom Smith FidoNet> 1:2410/279 (313) 584-1253 9600 (V.32) SogNet> 91:7/4279 H*A*L Muskogee, OK. Sysop: Lloyd Hatley FidoNet> 1:3813/304 (918) 682-7337 14400 (V.32bis) RFNet> 73:102/1 RANet> 72:918/21 LuvNet> 77:101/1 DoorNet> 75:7918/205 The Shop Mail Only Flushing, NY. Sysop: Steve Matzura FidoNet> 1:2603/203 (718) 460-0201 14400 (V.32bis) ADAnet> 94:7180/1 JayNet> 17:99/100 WorldNet 62:4400/200 MusicNet.FTN> 88:8001/12 1:284/201 (314) 774-5327 14400 (v.32bis) RBBSnet> 8:921/705 Cyberdrome Philadelphia, PA. Sysop: Mike Taylor FidoNet> 1:273/937 (215) 923-8026 14400 (V.32bis) PodsNet> 93:9600/2 RAH Official Distribution Sites: Automation Central San Jose, CA. Sysop: Radi Shourbaji FidoNet> 1:143/110 (408) 435-2886 14400 (V.32bis) Wit-Tech Baltimore, MD. Sysop: Doug Wittich FidoNet> 1:261/1082 (410) 256-0170 14400 (V.32bis) Incredible BBS Burleson, TX. Sysop: Don Teague FidoNet> 1:130/82 (817) 447-2598 9600 (V.32) Random Access Humor Page A-4 February 1993 Milliways Pittsburgh, PA. Sysop: David Cole FidoNet> 1:129/179 (412) 766-1086 16800 (HST/Dual) Supernova BBS Scotstown, Quebec Sysop: Ian Hall-Beyer FidoNet> 1:257/40 (819) 657-4603 2400 Data Empire Fredericksburg, VA. Sysop: Richard Hellmer FidoNet> 1:274/31 (703) 785-0422 9600 (HST) Outside the Wall Baltimore, MD. Sysop: Rob Novak FidoNet> 1:261/1093 (410) 665-1855 9600 (V.32) CALnet @node.1 Detroit, MI Sysop: Gary Groeller FidoNet> 1:2410/120 (313) 836-8275 14400 (V.32bis) Dragon's Cave Berkeley, CA. Sysop: Bruce Lane FidoNet> 1:161/412 (510) 549-0311 14400 (V.32bis) The Software Station Saugus, CA. Sysop: Dan Martin FidoNet> 1:102/1106 (805) 296-9056 9600 (V.32) Marin County Net Sausalito, CA. Sysop: Ron Pellegrino FidoNet> 1:125/55 (415) 331-6241 16800 (HST/Dual) Digicom Evansville, IN. Sysop: Gary Barr FidoNet> 1:2310/200 (812) 474-2263 9600 (HST) BBS Line (812) 479-1310 14400 (HST/Dual) High Mesa Publishing Los Lunas, NM. Sysop: Jerry Hargrove FidoNet> 1:301/1 (505) 865-8385 9600 (V.32) Paula's House of Mail Los Lunas, NM. Sysop: Paula Hargrove FidoNet> 1:301/301 (505) 865-4082 9600 (HST) The Software Cuisine Miami, FL. Sysop: Peter Hebert FidoNet> 1:135/57 (305) 642-0754 14400 (V.32bis) InfoMat BBS San Clemente, CA. Sysop: Michael Gibbs Intelec> EXHIBITA (714) 492-8727 14400 (HST/Dual) RaceNet> EXHIBITA MediaNet> EXHIBITA