***************************************************************************** ###### ###### ########## 33333 ## ## ## ## ## 33 33 ###### ######## ## 33 ## ## ## ## ## 33 33 ## ## ## ## ## 33333 ***************************************************************************** ( RAT! : Rebel Anarchistic Tendencies III ) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ooohh. I feel good again. Before I start, I think I might just go down to a slum and tell all the people there is a recession coming. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *** This file was created for the enjoyment of users of the CrossOver *** *** Bulletin Board and associate boards. *** Story By : Doc (Dr Who) & Avalon .. Editors : Avalon .. & Doc [ funny that! - Ed ] If you're offended, please come and then belt me up. I'm into bondage at the moment. Bring your whips, chains and egg-beaters for a great fun filled evening for the whole family! I'll invite Idi Amin, The Ayatollah, Deng Xiaoping and George Negus over too to give us a few tips. [The above is the author's poor attempt at a disclaimer. ie, if you don't like it, stiff bickies. Hopefully you can't sue us.-Ed.] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ring These Boards.... -------------------------------- CitiBank ......... 800-223-3317 US War Department ........ 401-841-3436 Pentagon ......... 202-545-6706 US Defence Department .... 703-781-4531 CIA Computer ..... 800-353-9801 The CrossOver BBS ........ 003-367-5816 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Janine's Search For Satisfaction. ----------------------------------- A novel in three (and a bit more) chapters. Featuring .. Janine .......................... In Her First Leading Role. Night Stalker ................... As Her Boyfriend & Sysop. Lash Clone ...................... As Night Stalker's Best Mate. Crystal ......................... As Janine's Best Friend. Avalon .......................... As Janine's Love Child. Armour Byte ..................... As The Postman. Slash Aggro ..................... As Brigitte's Friend. Brigitte Lambert ................ As The Innocent Young Girl. Lance Link ...................... As King Dood-le. Bee Modem ....................... As Egghead's Underling. Egg Head ........................ As Bee Modem's Underling. Dr Who (a.k.a Doc) .............. As Himself (How boring ?! - Ed) Chapter One : One More Of Night Stalker's Secrets Is Revealled. ----------------------------------------------------------------- "Janine, ", started Night Stalker, "I have something to tell you." Janine finished her message to Avalon on the board, and logged off. "Whatsup honey?" she said with a smile, and made herself comfortable in the sofa next to Night Stalker. Strangely, Night Stalker shifted a little in his seat, fumbled, shifted some more, fumbled a lot. Then started. And stopped. And started again. "Janine, I have something to tell you." Janine sat there, mouth open, still waiting for Night Stalker to actually say something intelligent. "Yes?", she asked, hoping this would bring something intelligible. Night Stalker was not usually like this, and Janine sensed something was not entirely hunky dory at the moment. "Janine. I'm gay." spurted Night Stalker. Janine laughed. She swung her head, focused on the little man next to her, and said.. "Get Serious." "No, Janine. Its true. I can't hold it back anymore. I can't. I'm sorry, Janine. But I can't.". Night Stalker was almost crying now. "You see, ever since HIM at the bbs meet, well, I.. I.. ". Night Stalker was stammering. It was obviously emotionally upsetting. But I must give him credit, its not all the time do you have to play the part of a self-styled stud turning homosexual. A knock on the door broke the scene like a fire alarm during a saonce. Janine, stunned, rose and answered the door. It was Lance Link. "Bye, Janine.", blubbered Night Stalker, and he walked out the door.Janine glared at Lance, Lance smiled sadistically. "Ahh ya poofta!", screamed Janine, and slammed the door on Lance. She started to cry as she heard their footsteps walking away, a car door open, slam, an engine start, as they roared away. Janine fell back into the grey sofa, and stared hopelessly at the enormous Swatch watch on the wall. Chapter Two : Janine Begins Her Search. --------------------------------------- Several weeks passed. Try as she might, she could not seem to forget about Night Stalker but couldn't for the life of her work out why. Afterall he was gay...he could-I could have AIDS. These thoughts and more kept crossing her mind, nightmares ruled her sleep, unwanted daydreams her spare time. She needed something to fill the void left by Night Stalker but she had quickly found that a ******** was not the answer. One day, as Janine sat infront of the CrossOver, staring at D'Bridge, waiting for someone to logon, Lash Clone returned from two weeks imitating Rambo. Janine looked up from the monitor, bored without Night Stalker in her life, and sighed.. "Oh its you.." "Hi!", said the Adonis. Lash stood over six foot, wore just a pair of Hawaii shorts, and boasted sun-tanned muscles like balloons under pressure. Janine stared. Suddenly she realised there was something attractive about muscles. Especially lots of them. Night Stalker never had any, so she really hadn't paid attention to them before. "How long are you staying for?" enquired Janine. "Oh, not long.", grunted Lash, as he easily lifted twelve suit-cases of Hawaii shorts into his bedroom. "Lash..", began Janine, trying to get his attention. Lash Clone looked up. He was now doing push-ups on the floor with one hand. "Lash, have you got a ... a .you-know...girlfriend at the moment?" "Nah.", said Lash. "But I'm dating this chick I met at the gym the other day. Wadja ask?". Lash was now flexing muscles infront of a full length mirror. "Lash...do you find me.. sorta.. attractive in any way?" asked Janine, smiling and blinking between poses. Lash boxed with the wall, and quickly replied.."Why, yeah. Sure.". He bounced into his bedroom, wheeled out his tricycle, and said ..."Hey! I'll be back in a few hours. I'm off for my daily ride around the city. Hey! I feel so fit, I think I'll do it twice.". "You ready Crystal ?", he said as he walked out the door. "Ready when you are.", she replied. Off sped Lash and Crystal, leaving Janine with the dust and the farm. Chapter Three : The Uninvited Visitor. -------------------------------------- Janine was getting desperate. She had now gone four weeks without relief. Being alone at the farm gave her little opportunity to meet men. Even that odd looking postman that came about once a month began to look marginally interesting only the posty didn't come often enough - according to local gossip. Unfortunately there were no milkmen anymore either; they had become a part of local myth which also said they only came early in the morning - if at all. There was knock on the door. Janine sprung to her feet, and rushed to open the door. Her heart was pounding, who could it be now? "Hi Janine. Is Night Stalker home?" asked a tall gangly person wearing a sweaty fibre jacket and riding shorts. Janine's heart sank. "Avalon, would you like to come (in) ?", she sighed. "Oh.. um..isn't he home?", Avalon asked. "I only came to work on the Crossover. It needs some new menus I've decided - perhaps some games - and how about a menu that lets you post mail to other users - and and and.." Avalon was now sitting infront of the computer, typing away. "And.. then I'll use localised machine code to sort the incoming fido mail from the remote connection, and transfer it using bit processing to somehow force the user to read all mail so that the user statistics board will look a lot better and I'm sure that the archives could do with a new menu perhaps also we should run one of Doc's great adventure games I've heard that his latest one is all about Love, Lust & How To Get Dumped By Kate Kennedy and then we could run tradewars along side this and incorporate the two with a low level assembler code which would scan all keys and play both games at once while it transfers mail and ... maybe I should dump the adventure, not being SYNproof [ not funny Avalon! - Ed] and.." Janine put a video on. Avalon had shut up, and typed away contentedly. The video started off simple enough. A few previews of "Fearless Fred's Home Movies", and then the credits. "Too much too soon - Brigitte Lambert's Life Story." was the title. Strange, Janine had never seen this one before. Perhaps it was one of Night Stalker's blue movies [that's a porno you ignoramus! -Ed] he played at bbs meets. She slid back into the sofa and waited intently. *RING* *RI-* Janine picked up the phone so quickly that the two cats sitting in her lap landed in the open fire and began to sizzle as their meows echoed through the house. [ you are sick Avalon! - Ed] "Hello ?", Janine whispered eagerly down the phone. "Erh hi, umm, err is Night Stalker there, I need to talk to him about my access on.." "Fu-- Bee Modem, how are you ?", asked Janine. "erh, umm, fine I think, just a tic I'll consult my multimeter.", plugging himself into it, pushing a few buttons and turning a few knobs he came up with the answer. "umm, err it says that I am not as well as I could be sorta thing." "What does it say ?", Janine demanded. "erh, umm, it says....erh umm that I am...err umm a ...err umm...virgin. ooooohhhh..that was great Egghead..err oops...umm" "huh?....oh....well goodbye", and with that Janine hung up. Returning to the movie, she watched the last of the credits rolled by. In typical fashion, the movie was a blue movie. As the movie dragged on, so did Janine's mouth fall open as she watched in awe at the things that the athletic Brigitte was able to perform. "oooohh", Janine uttered as she watched them do the 1069th position. Turning round, Avalon took a quick glimpse at the scene which had caused the reaction. "Oh that's nothing", he remarked, turning back to the Crossover. "What'd you mean that's nothing ?", asked the envious Janine. "Oh wait, you'll know the good bits when they come. I was her trainer for the movie, how else do you think she'd be able to make those moves ?" Janine began to think that if she could do some of those moves, Night Stalker would give up being gay. "Umm, could you show me how to do some of those moves ?" "Later...watch the movie first you might learn a few things." "But will you show me how to do them ?" "If you stop hassling, maybe then yes.", Avalon said with tone of annoyance in her voice. [uh oh was that a typo or .... -Ed] Disgruntled, Janine sat back in the sofa and watched the rest of the movie.. [I don't believe this is happening! Janine is not stupid. - Ed] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "uuuuurrrggghhh", Brigitte moaned as Slash licked the cream from her thighs, which trembled with each lick. Slash deceided that Brigitte was finally ready, maneuvering into position, he found it quite easily. .....................[ C E N S O R E D ].................... [damn! -Ed] "What happened ?", said a voice from nowhere. "I think I came too soon.", sobbed Slash, looking at the motionless lump of flesh that was once Brigitte Lambert. "Oh well, at least she didn't live to be 18." "Yeah", replied Slash, "but shit was she good!" THE END ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter Five : From Out Of Nowhere ------------------------------------- "Rotten fucking male-chauvenist-sexist-pigs!", Janine exclaimed, throwing a shoe into the TV, blowing it and the multi-megabuck stero equipment up. "Try listening to Boy-George or Divine now Night Stalker!". Whirling around, she expected Avalon to be sitting at the Crossover. "oops", she whimpered as her other shoe blew up the monitor for the Crossover. "Where's the car keys ? I think its a bout time I..", she said to herself. "About time you what ?", demanded Doc, standing in the doorway to the kitchen, sharpening a few knives. "Err..never mind slave, get back to work NOW, I told you I wanted a full 6 course meal, with roast and salads for tonite!". "Yes mam, please forgive my insolence.", and with that Doc returned to the kitchen, still sharpening his knives. "Damn Avalon, walked out on me again! I swear next time I see him I will slit his throat! Too bad if he's an arsehole." [Later that night....] "Hi darling, I'm home", yelled a not too unfamiliar voice. "Night Stalker ?", Janine said from the bath. "yeah...where are you ?" "Taking a bath. Be careful not to trip--" *BANG!* *CRASH!* "trip on the power cord for the....oh never mind. What are you back for?", asked Janine. "What am I back for ?", repeated Night Stalker, "oh just this and that, you know, all the things I forgot to take the last time I left." "Get out you bastard!", said Janine, followed by half the water in th bath tub. "Only kidding", complained Night Stalker, as he started to take off his wet clothes. "The real reason I came back was for you." Blushing, Janine was lost for words for a moment. "But I thought you were gay and....what's going on Night Stalker?", asked a confused Janine. "Oh all that, ", stepping into the tub, "..was just to see how much you really liked me." - DA ENDTH - A few weeks later the happy couple were married in the Church Of FellowShip For Craig Bowen And Other Divine Gods, vows read by her holiness Cardinal Syn, and they lived happily ever after... [Don't you love happy endings too? - Ed] [If you are wondering where Chapter Four was then you were right for wondering. It is there but I couldn't decide where to put the heading so I left it out.-Ed.] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ye Olde Awards.. ---------------- Lazy Bum Sysop Award.........................................Night Stalker (2 months down!!) Pet Care Award......................................................Janine Skeg Award.....................................................Slash Aggro Tri-athlete Award...............................................Lash Clone Snail Squasher's Award.......................................Fearless Fred Loozers Of The Month..............................................Keneniah (go ahead, lick my lollies!) The Stranger Movie Conousieur Award....................................Brigitte Lambert Editor Award........................................................Avalon (I told you not to release the bloody thing yet.) Gullible Award...................................................Eugene IP (Acid Man, are you really 37, married to Cool Charm, have a son called Masked Avenger and run Zen BBS with 15 lines? Wow!) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- YOURMOTHERNOTONLYSUCKSCOCKSINHELLANDBRAGSABOUTITATTHEBRIDGECLUBTHENEXTDATAND NOTONLYWALKSTHROUGHSHOPPINGCENTRESTRYINGOUTALLTHEKNOBSONTHEELECTRICALAPPLIANCES BUTALSOHASBEENSEENATTENDINGMASKEDAVENGERFUNDEDSATANWORSHIPRITUALSSOTHERE! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A free Netcomm to the first person to decifer the above. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- RAT3! - Rebel Anarchistic Tendencies. (Part III) NB: There was never a RAT2. It was never released and I don't know how the hell it got into the TZ file area. RAT! is the alternative to Anarchistic Tendencies for those who call The CrossOver BBS, and used to call The Bug Factory. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Next issue.. -------------- There won't be another one. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- You might have a few rights, especially if you are carrying a sawn-off shot gun aimed at my head. cya